Book 2: Aonghas Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden
by DreGregoire
Summary: Here begins a new tale of Aonghas Cousland the human noble mage. It begins almost two months after the landsmeet. Aonghas had to get away from Denerim. Zevran and Aonghas are just friends.
1. Chapter 1

**Aonghas Cousland: the Hero of Ferelden**

_**Chapter One: The Hero of Ferelden Tries to Leave Denerim Behind**_

**_25th Day, Wintermarch (January), _****_9:32_******

Aonghas Cousland watched Alistair from the shadows of the Palace's main hall. Not yet four months before he and Alistair had stood confronting Loghain in the same hall. That landsmeet that had been called by Arl Eamon had changed many things. It had put an end to Loghain's bid for power and it had made Alistair the King of Ferelden. It had caused both Aonghas and Alistair to lose the always fragile personal connection to each other. Aonghas stayed in Denerim more because he didn't know what else to do than any other reason. Part of him clung to the hope that Alistair would change his mind about their personal relationship being at an end, but as more time passed Aonghas was beginning to realize that Alistair had changed too much and that he wasn't going to change his mind. Alistair had become stronger in mind, more confident in his abilities, and he is clearly more determined to put his duty first; there was no room in his world for a personal relationship with Aonghas.

Aonghas heaved a great sigh and stared down at his clenched fists in surprise. When he looked up again he saw the old man Ceorlic that Alistair had stopped to talk to and he knew if he had been a dog his hackles would have raised, but instead he could feel the slight blush of remembered shame. The old man had called Aonghas a spoiled child at the landsmeet. Aonghas had been infuriated at the time even as he had felt his cheeks redden, Alistair had moved up behind him and leaned close to whisper in his ear, "Don't mind him, just bring up the evidence we found." Aonghas had recovered quickly and proceeded to confront Loghain about the poisoning of Arl Eamon, Howe's torturing of people, and the enslavement of the elves. Aonghas had finished with a comment about Loghain not believing it is a blight. Loghain had shown his arrogance to all assembled in the landsmeet before confronting and accusing Aonghas of kidnapping his daughter. Aonghas felt himself chuckle as he remembered Alistair's sarcasm when he wasn't surprised by Anora turning on them. Alistair had chosen to kill Loghain even though Riordan had tried to encourage us to accept Loghain as a grey warden. Aonghas had considered it but Alistair was adamant that Loghain must pay for his crimes and Aonghas agreed that having Loghain be a brother after all he had put the nation through was beyond repulsive. Aonghas had defeated Loghain in single combat in this very same hall, the same hall that Loghain had lost his head. There was something about the memory of Alistair coldly beheading Loghain that made Aonghas' stomach ache in response, before he could further explore the sensation Zevran slipped up beside Aonghas.

"Are you ready to go?" Aonghas nodded as his eyes watched Alistair walk across the hall to talk to Fergus; he could see Zevran following his gaze out of the corner of his eye. "Have you told them you are leaving?" Aonghas shook his head in the negative. "Did you at least leave them notes?" Aonghas nodded but he couldn't seem to take his eyes from his brother's face as he laughed at something Alistair had said. "Let's be on our way then, lad." Aonghas straightened and slipped out of the hall in Zevran's wake.

Aonghas and Zevran made a quick stop at the Teryn of Highever's estate for Aonghas to change into the well worn clothing and leathers Zevran had obtained for him. Aonghas packed the clothes that Leliana had picked out for him in the same trunk he had packed the armor she had picked out. Another trunk held Bryce Cousland's armor; the breast plate that Alistair had damaged was now repaired. That same trunk held the family sword and shield with a note to Fergus. Zevran had arranged for Aonghas' things to be shipped home with Aonghas' brother Fergus. Aonghas found himself captivated by the trunk as his mind slipped into the past.

_Alistair grabbed and slammed Aonghas into a nearby tree as Aonghas' most recent victims moved out of hearing range. "Those were refugees, Aonghas, how dare you steal from them!" Aonghas remembered claiming not to know what Alistair was talking about, but when Alistair reached for Aonghas' belt pouch, anger filled the younger man and he slapped the reaching hand away and then twisted in Alistair's grip managing to break free. Two steps found Aonghas caught again and slammed into the same large tree. "Tell me again you didn't steal from them?" Aonghas' father's armor protected Aonghas from serious harm; although, Aonghas remembered being concerned that the ceremonial armor would be dented from the impact. Aonghas still couldn't wrap his head around the violence Alistair had displayed that day. Aonghas had reacted with a surge of his own anger and brought his arms up between them to slam his gauntlet covered fists into the warden commander Griffon crest on Alistair's breastplate as hard as the lack of room would allow for. The blow staggered Alistair and ripped his hands from the grip he had on Aonghas, allowing the slighter man to slip to the side and away from the tree. Alistair was only momentarily stunned and his roar of rage caused Aonghas to panic and stumble over a root of the tree. That was all the time Alistair needed to grab his comrade once more and slam him into the tree face forward this time and the breastplate caved in from the force; pressing into Aonghas' chest. Aonghas remembered thinking, 'Maker Alistair is one extremely strong man,' as he grabbed the tree and tried to push off. Alistair had growled pressing himself hard against Aonghas; effectively holding the slighter man against the tree. Aonghas remembered clearly the strange sensations that had assaulted his body and mind as Alistair demanded he stop resisting and admit what he had done. Aonghas could almost feel Alistair's panting breath against his ear again and the fierce trembling in the body behind him. Alistair's rage had been great, but Zevran had arrived at that moment making a comment about disappearing horses. Aonghas remembered how embarrassed he was by Zevran catching them at their worst and he believed Alistair was embarrassed to be caught at it as well._

"Aonghas, we should go." Zevran's accented tone brought Aonghas snapping back to the present. Aonghas smiled at his friend and then followed the elf from the room. The two slipped silently from the estate and into the streets of Denerim.

* * *

Zevran stepped agilely out of the gates of Denerim with a human at his side. The human was cloaked and hooded; his shoulders were stooped forward to accommodate the weight of the pack on his back and he walked with the aid of a staff. The guards eyed the elf and the human suspiciously but they didn't recognize the hero of Ferelden as he passed them in his cloak and hood.

Half an hour later a large male mabari war hound burst by the guards running at a speed that could only be described as breakneck. The guards were startled and before they could regain their senses enough to consider stopping the hound he was long gone.

* * *

Aonghas stretched his feet out and slipped them under the warm body of his mabari war hound Majestic. He shifted his upper body trying to get more comfortable while leaning against his bulging pack. Zevran was seated across the small fire from him with his eyes barely open. With a sigh Aonghas tried to lay still and not disturb whatever type of meditation Zevran was in. As Aonghas stared into the flames he found his mind wandering. He amused himself with imagining how his absence would be taken by Denerim and then unbidden his mind showed him a window into the past.

_The bath in the Orzammar guest house was surprising very deep in its lower tiers. Aonghas had never seen a bath so intricate with multiple levels. He stood naked staring into the depths of the deepest tier wondering exactly how deep it was when he heard a rush of feet and a body as naked as his own slammed into him taking him over the edge of the pool and into the depths. Aonghas struggled to break free from the arms wrapped around his chest but his own arms were trapped and the water made moving much slower. As the two surfaced the arms released Aonghas and when Aonghas turned he was confronted by Ser Gilmore's laughing eyes. Laughter from above drew Aonghas' attention and just as he found the source, Alistair took a jump step and dove into the pool. Aonghas heard Roland laugh and turned to face him in time to take a face full of water. Sputtering Aonghas turned away in time to receive another face full of water from Alistair. Aonghas dove under water as Roland and Alistair attempted to bombard him with water and when he came up further away he couldn't help but laugh as he watched the two giving each other faces full of water. Aonghas swam to the edge of the pool and began dragging himself out._

_"Where are you going, lad?" Aonghas stopped and looked up at the naked elf that stood at the pool edge. As Aonghas stared Zevran's grin widened, "Consider this a form of exercise. I notice you are getting a bit plump around the middle." Before Aonghas could respond indignantly he felt his legs grabbed by two sets of hands and he was pulled under the water and away from the edge. As Aonghas surfaced he found himself surrounded by three of his comrades and they only gave him a moment to recognize his peril before slapping water at him. Aonghas quickly dove and the four spent the next hour attempting to escape and take each other down. At one point in time Aonghas swore he could hear Sten and Oghren placing bets on the water fight, he only had a moment to wave at the two who were lounging in the higher tiers of the bath, before being dragged back into the battle._

"Aonghas? Lad? What are you thinking about?" Zevran's voice yanked Aonghas back to the present and he grinned at the elf.

"The water battle in Orzammar. Who did win?"

Zevran laughed in his rich accent and then answered, "Nobody won. Leliana walked in and asked us if we were planning to share the bath with the woman or were we getting out."

Aonghas blushed scarlet, "Ugh, I forgot about that." More laughter from Zevran deepened his blush.

"Yes that is the blush I remember. Alistair and Ser Gilmore's faces were about the same shade of red." Zevran laughed as he fed the fire. "That stay in Orzammar had some memorable times." Aonghas decided that Zevran's eyesight must be much better than his own to be able to see him blushing in the firelight.

"So. We've been here for three days. When are we going to move on?"

"Actually I think we may have to go back to Denerim for a time."

"What? There is no way I'm going back. No."

Zevran stretched and sat up straighter to look Aonghas in the eyes. "Do you know even in the pitch of night without a fire I can see your eyes? They actually glow."

Aonghas sat up and leaned towards the fire as he gave Zevran a concerned look. "Tell me this isn't something you are just realizing now?"

"No, but I had forgotten how obvious it is. We have dyed your hair and I have the makeup to hide your pale skin and your youth, but those eyes. They are the eyes of the Grey Warden Aonghas."

"I can't change my eyes, Zevran."

"In Antiva I once heard of this mage that could change his appearance and the appearance of others. I think that we should seek this mage out."

"I'm not sure I want to go all the way to Antiva."

"We won't have to. The mage was supposed to have been from Ferelden originally and I could kick myself for not remembering this sooner but I had heard news that he was in Denerim, back when I was hired by Loghain."

"So this is why we have been sitting here less than a week from Denerim? Why wait till now to tell me?"

"You were so happy to be away from it all and the more time we let slip by the less likely the guards will be on the lookout for us."

"Why don't you just send somebody for this mage and ask him to come to us?"

"He wouldn't just come out here for some nobodies and if we told him who you are the palace would be sure to find out."

"So how are we supposed to get into Denerim?"

"We have the dye and makeup and you will have to make sure not to look at anybody in the eyes, we can keep your hood low so nobody would be able to see them glowing. Best to go in during the daytime though, the glow isn't as clear then."

"Alright. I really don't want to go back but if it is true that this mage can change my appearance how long will it last."

"That's another problem; from what I've heard it lasts only a day."

"Then it is a waste of time to go back to Denerim."

"Couldn't this mage teach you how to do it yourself?"

"It could take months for me to learn the talent if I am even capable of it!"

"We could easily hide out in Denerim as you learn what you need to. There are plenty of places. We could hide in the Alienage; Soris and Shianni would help us."

"No. If we do this nobody can know I am there."

"So are we going to?"

"Yes, but Zevran you will be recognized."

"I will use the hair dye and makeup on myself. There is another possible problem though."

"Great! What?"

"Your brother hasn't left Denerim yet. This is the way he would go, but I've seen no sign of him. He was supposed to leave two days after we left. I can only think your leaving made him decide to stay longer."

"How is it a problem? We'll be hiding from him."

"He knows your hound for one."

"Well, Majestic will just have to be good at hiding. You can do that right, boy?" Majestic barked once before laying his head back on his paws. "See he knows what to do. You said for one. What more?"

"Your family guards may be able to recognize you; even disguised you look incredibly like Fergus, maybe even more so than with your platinum blond hair."

"Well I happen to think that Fergus and I do not look that much alike but couldn't you do something different with the makeup?"

"I will of course try but it still may raise suspicions."

"We'll have to chance it. Once this mage teaches me, if I can learn, then I will be able to change my appearance myself."

* * *

The human and elf were not given a second glance as they entered the gates of Denerim and they disappeared in the docks district soon after. The guards were busy searching a merchants cart when a war hound looped into the city and easily faded from view in the bustle of the city.

It took a week for Zevran to find the mage without raising suspicion and the mage agreed to teach Aonghas his skill. It was obvious the mage knew who Aonghas was but he seemed to understand Aonghas' desire to escape his life. The mage allowed them to stay with him, but he only had a handful of hours to give to training, so Aonghas had taken to frequenting taverns with the mages disguise spell cast on him. Zevran always laughed as Aonghas told him how amazing it was not to be recognized. Aonghas was very careful to ensure that he couldn't sense Alistair and he could only hope that Alistair wouldn't be able to sense him. As timed passed he became less concerned. The day Aonghas was finally able to cast the disguise spell was almost three weeks from returning to Denerim. The mage and Aonghas were surprised at how quickly Aonghas had learned the ability. Aonghas went off to celebrate, in a disguise he had done all on his own, by himself because Zevran was still off doing whatever it was he did while Aonghas was learning. As he thought about it he realized that he hadn't seen Zevran in a couple of days. He didn't let himself worry about the disappearance because that would ruin his celebration.

Aonghas had been drinking heavily and was dozing and unaware of all of his senses; even so, he sprang up from his chair as the front door was slammed open. He was reaching for his staff ready to do battle when Alistair shouted at him. "Did you really think I wouldn't find you?" Aonghas left his staff leaning against the wall and turned to face the former Grey Warden. Alistair obviously knew who he was despite his disguised appearance. Aonghas silently cursed the grey warden taint and ability to sense it in others as Alistair strode to within a foot of Aonghas and glared as he waited to be answered. Aonghas stared into Alistair's eyes unable to move or speak as his mind fought against the sudden surge of adrenaline that made Aonghas want to bring a fist around to slam into the glare before him. All Aonghas could think was, 'In a crowded tavern common room he chooses to confront me? Why does he do this?' Aonghas could feel his rage increasing and despite his best effort his tongue began to run away with him. He didn't shout but his voice was definitive, hard, and cold.

"How dare you march in here and speak to me in that tone. If you have something to say to me you can wait until we are in private. Get out of my face, Alistair."

Aonghas watched Alistair go from anger to rage and Aonghas felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach as the monarch searched for an appropriate response to his disrespect. Aonghas knew by the look on Alistair's face that he had gone too far this time. Aonghas saw the fist heading towards his face a second too late and as he lay on the sticky tavern floor holding his throbbing jaw he stared up at Fergus. Fergus practically hissed; his voice just above a whisper, "Little brother, you will not be disrespectful to King Alistair. You bring shame to our family name. Get up." In a louder voice Fergus spoke to the tavern owner, "Tavern Keep do you have a private room?"

"In the back, My Lord. Please your, Majesty, feel free to use it." King Alistair nodded and strode across the common room and through the door into the private back room. Aonghas had gained his feet and after he retrieved his staff he moved towards the room and passed the brother who had struck him in public. Fergus took Aonghas' staff from him as he passed and then closed the door behind the two men. Fergus stood guard at the door to prevent anyone from following and anybody who came close found the mixed guards of the King and the Teryn of Highever escorting them away. It wasn't long before the tavern was empty. Zevran came into the tavern then and settled on a stool at the bar waiting patiently for things to play out. Majestic had followed him in but he wandered over to Fergus and whined. Fergus squatted down and began petting the dog speaking to him in a deep calming voice. Finally the dog calmed and went to lie beside the common room fire.

Zevran stood and moved to stand near Fergus so they could talk privately. "He didn't leave you a letter or one for Alistair?"

Fergus gave Zevran a hard look, "No he did not. The only letter that was left was the one in the chest with Father's armor and the Cousland shield and sword. All it said was he wanted me to have the items. Did he tell you he had left us letters?"

Zevran sighed deeply, "I should have made sure he did. I knew he wanted to leave and that he was angry about something that had transpired between you two; but I didn't expect him to lie about the letters."

"I told him he needed to let go of his anger with Alistair and that it was interfering with Alistair's ability to rule. He was angry with me; telling me I didn't know anything and that I should just shut up. Needless to say I wasn't pleased and we had a scuffle which ended when I slapped him. He left the room before we could talk anymore and then he avoided me for a few days and then you were both gone."

"I did not realize. I am sorry, My Lord Cousland. Had I known that he didn't leave you a letter I would have…," Zevran found himself interrupted by Fergus.

"What? You think you would have been able to convince him to leave one? My little brother is if anything the most stubborn person I know. He wanted to punish me and he wanted to punish Alistair. It would not have mattered what anybody said or did to try to change his mind. I thought that he would have matured more after everything that he has been through, but if anything it seems to have made him more immature in his stubbornness. I am not naïve enough to think that I can stop him from leaving. He's going to leave and I hope that you will remain at his side. I have a few favors to ask of you."

"Anything."

"First of all help him to grow up. At this point you are the only person who is able to influence him. Promise me you will do this."

"I promise to try to the best of my ability, My Lord Fergus."

"Thank you, Zevran. The second thing is a promise to keep my staff in Highever apprised of where you are and where you are going. I know that this may not be…"

"Done."

"Oh, thank you again. The third and last thing. Do everything within your power to convince him to come see me before leaving Denerim. He and I need to have time to work out a few things. You can tell him I will not track him down if he sees me before leaving."

"Agreed."

"Thank you, Zevran. I feel my trust in you is not misplaced."

"I will prove that to you, My Lord."

Neither spoke again as they stood listening to the muffled voices of Alistair and Aonghas. Unable to hear what was said the two separately wondered if they would ever know what transpired between the two Grey Wardens of Ferelden.

A good hour or more had passed by the time the door behind Fergus opened. Alistair exited followed by Aonghas. They both looked flushed but whereas Alistair looked satisfied with the outcome of their talk; Aonghas had an air of defeated resignation about him. Fergus handed Aonghas his staff before following Alistair from the tavern. One of the Kings guards clunked a bag of coins on the counter in front of the tavern keep before exiting. Aonghas went back to settle in the chair he had occupied previously and sighed deeply as he leaned his staff against the wall behind him. Zevran joined his friend and sat silent waiting for Aonghas to speak.

"Makers breath that was bracing." Zevran felt his lips twitch at how much Aonghas had sounded like Alistair, but it was too soon for laughter and he controlled himself.

"To say the least." Zevran shifted in his chair, "I'm embarrassed to say it was me and not your hound that got you found out."

"Yes well, I knew there was a chance it would happen. When do we leave?"

"When you are done learning."

"Oh right. This is me maintaining this disguise now."

"Amazing. In that case we can leave as soon as you are done talking to your brother." Zevran smiled as the younger man looked around quickly with a worried look as he searched for his brother. "He wants you to go to the Highever estate."

"You think I should go see him?"

"He said if you do not he will hunt you down."

"Like he won't if I do?"

"He said he would let you go if you see him first."

"What is the catch? What did you promise him?"

"It's not important right now. You go see him and we'll worry about details on the road."

"I'll go see him now then." Aonghas stood and grabbed his staff; as he was about to step away from Zevran he turned back for a moment. "Don't leave me," he begged his voice full of insecurity.

"Never, lad. Majestic and I will be at the mages awaiting your return." Aonghas nodded and Zevran watched him leave the tavern without his normal arrogant swagger.

Aonghas returned to the mage's home late two days after he had left to go to the Highever Estate in Denerim. Zevran breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the young man enter the room next to his through the door in between their rooms. "Things went well with your brother?"

"Everything is settled, Zevran. I need a good nights sleep and then we can be on the road in the morning if you agree."

"I will be ready." Aonghas nodded and closed the door between them.

* * *

A dark haired middle aged elf and young human with dirty blond hair and brown eyes walked towards the gates of Denerim. The slight elf walked spryly for his age looking around smiling at everyone they passed while the heavier human seemed to walk stiffly, the pack on his back seeming to weight him down. The slighter man paused and turned to the other. "Are you in pain? You are walking like you are?"

"I am fine. This pack is just heavier than I remember is all." The elf looked skeptical but shrugged and continued on his way with the human walking stiffly behind him. The two were passing out of the gates of Denerim when they were nearly knocked over by a large mabari war hound rushing through gate. The guards shouted and tried to stop the hound leaving but the beast was too swift for them, evading them easily and running off down the road. The elf and human continued past the guards as they were distracted by the hound and the guards didn't stop them as they walked off. "Finally we are away from here." The elf laughed but didn't answer.

The travelers were about two hours away from Denerim when Majestic came running up barking excitedly. "What is it, boy?" inquired the human. The dog turned towards the woods and a red-headed woman came out of the woods and approached. She looked puzzled at the strange elf and human. The human sounded surprised, "Bella?"

The human woman seemed nervous and she kept peering at the human until she finally asked, "It is you, Aonghas?"

"Yes, Bella these are our disguises. What are you doing out here?"

"You helped me so much back in Redcliff and I have to admit that I never felt safer than when I knew you were around. I have always wanted to travel and I thought maybe you would need somebody to join you." She looked at the elf briefly and then back to the disguised Aonghas with a look of uncertainty, "I hadn't realized you already have a servant."

Aonghas laughed, "Bella that is Zevran in disguise. I'm not sure how safe you will be traveling with us, but you are welcome to come and see if we suit each other." Bella suddenly smiled and gave a nod to Zevran.

"Just give me a chance. Give me a moment." She ran back to the woods and when she returned she was leading a horse loaded down with packs. "I've brought supplies."

"Oh this one will work out fine I should say." Zevran's voice was pleased and he immediately went to the horse and began peeking into saddle bags. "We should be able to off load some of what we have in our packs onto the horse, Aonghas. Well done Bella."

"Where did you get all of this? The money I gave you to go to Denerim?"

"Yes and the money I earned while there. Luckily I didn't arrive until after you had defeated the darkspawn."

"Thank the Maker for that." Zevran approached Aonghas then and began tugging off his pack. Aonghas hissed in pain and then gave up the pack in relief. "I'm glad you showed up when you did. My back and legs are not up to carrying that load." As Bella laughed along with Aonghas Zevran looked in disbelief at his comrade. He hefted the bag a few times and then shaking his head he went to off load it into the saddlebags. "Bella, how did you find us?"

"Majestic found me in Denerim and I knew he wouldn't be there without you. I asked him if you would be leaving soon and he got all excited so I packed everything and left yesterday. I camped in the woods last night and waited until he found me."

"You took a big chance doing that."

"I don't know; something about Majestic made me believe I wasn't taking a big chance. I told him what I wanted to do and he understood." Majestic barked once and wagged his tail, "Yes you do understand me. You're a good boy."

"So now the dog is finding companions for us?" Zevran laughed as Majestic barked once at him in response to his question. "Who would argue with that?"

It wasn't long before they began walking again with Aonghas and Bella in the front talking up a storm, while Zevran followed guiding the horse with Majestic at his side keeping him company. Zevran narrowed his eyes as he noticed Aonghas was still walking a bit stiffly even without a pack. Zevran started to speculate but then just shook his head and began chatting up Majestic and the horse. "Ah. This walking feels good but my boots will need to be repaired often. Maybe you should find us a boot maker, Majestic. Then we would never have to worry about holes in our boots. And what of you, Ser Horse, will you begin finding us traveling companions as well?" Neither animal answered but it didn't stop Zevran from continuing to talk to them.

That night when they settled down at their campfire Bella spoke quietly in an uncertain voice. "Do you want to hear a tale I was told when I was younger? I think you will both find it interesting."

"That would be great. Zevran and I often spend the evenings telling tales."

"Most assuredly and being told by such a lovely woman with a voice as beautiful as bird song will be a most pleasant change." Zevran and Aonghas both laughed at Zevran's comment. Nervously Bella cleared her throat and began her tale.

"This tale was told to me by the kennel master of Redcliff."

_I was chastising the young whelp Alistair when the hounds in the kennels become unusually quiet and when I turned there was a young child in the kennel. He had dark brown hair and his arms were wrapped around the neck of the most dominant female hound. I had approached the two slowly hoping to save the lad from getting hurt; however, the hound let out a low deep growl and shifted itself to the side to protect the lad. "Easy, Milady." The young child lifted his head and I recognized him as the son of the visiting Teryn. I felt awe and worry as I spoke softly, "Come away from the hound, young lord." The child raised his chin and shook his head and then buried his face against the hounds head again. The hounds rumbling growl increased a bit; warning me to leave them be. I backed away in shocked disbelief that she allowed him to touch her and was in turn threatening me protecting him as if he was one of her own. "Come away, lad." The child ignored me completely this time and after a time standing and not knowing how to handle the situation I gave and order to the nine year old lad who I had been chastising, "Alistair, go get Arl Eamon and the Teryn who is with him. Go quickly." _

_The lad left quickly and returned with what appeared to be the entire court. The Teyrn allowed some time to pass before speaking to his son. "Pup, what are you doing?" _

"_I'm learning. She has so much knowledge. If you listen closely you can almost hear her ancestors." The child leaned his head back against the hounds and then he shifted as if upset and he released his hold from around the hound's neck and turned to face the growing but silent crowd. He rested a hand on the hounds back and smiled. "Can I have her?"_

"_No. Come out from there, pup." The child frowned and dragged his feet all the way to the edge of the kennel. He didn't object as his father reached over and lifted him up and out of the kennel. He wiggled as his father hugged him, giggling a bit. "Don't ever do this again, Mabari can be very dangerous." _

_Arl Eamon had turned to the visiting Teyrn and spoke, "Well, Bryce. This sure beats the stories my brother was telling us." The young boy smiled and wrapped his arms around his father's neck as the men laughed. A bark startled them all and they all turned to the kennel. "Look at that I think she's trying to give one of her pups to your son, Bryce." The young boy rushed over to the kennel and held his arms out and smiled up at Arl Eamon. I knew as the pup licked the lad making him giggle that the pup and a boy had immediately became imprinted to each other_

"_Eamon, he's only six," complained Teyrn Bryce Cousland._

"_And imprinted already. Surely he is blessed by the Maker. What say you, Bryce, shall we talk price?" _

"Wait. This tale; it's a tale about me. This is a tale about Majestic and I? Is it not?"

"It is. I thought you might like to know that even before you became the Hero of Ferelden there were tales about you."

"Truly amazing," Zevran commented in wry amusement.

"This is crazy and you said tales. You mean there are more?"

"Perhaps, but I will only share one tale a night. It's time for one of you to share one."

The two men obliged her and they all laughed and had a good first evening on the road.

* * *

Zevran squatted down by Aonghas' sleeping body and leaned over him to look him in the face. It was extremely dark but Zevran had heard the lad thrashing around moaning and had become concerned. Just as Zevran reached to touch Aonghas' shoulder the lad's eyes opened wide and his emerald green eyes glowed in the night even as a hand grabbed Zevran by the throat and squeezed tight. Zevran froze for a moment shocked by Aonghas' quick reflexes and then he grabbed the wrist of the hand crushing his wind pipe and dug his nails in while bringing up his other hand and trying to strike Aonghas across the face. The younger man blocked his slapping hand. Zevran tried to speak, but he couldn't breath and then suddenly Majestic was there. The large hound pushed his head between Zevran and Aonghas and growled into Aonghas' face. Zevran was shocked that the war hound threatened Aonghas and not himself; he couldn't see Aonghas' reaction but at that moment Aonghas released him and Zevran fell back to his knees gripping his throat in agony as his breath wheezed in and out. Majestic still had his large face in Aonghas' his lips curled in a snarl as he continued to growl and then just as suddenly as he had arrived the dog moved away from his owner and lay down beside him. Zevran watched Aonghas closely as the younger man covered his eyes with his hands, Zevran wanted to say something but he still hadn't recovered breath enough to do so.

Finally the lad sat up and looked at Zevran. "What did I do? Did I. Makers Blood, Zevran did I just strangle you? I thought it was a dream." Aonghas moved close and pulled Zevran's hands away from his damaged throat. Aonghas placed the same hand that had caused the damage on the bared throat. Zevran shifted uncomfortably; fighting the urge not to move away as he felt the tingling slow warmth of healing invade his flesh easing the pain and damage. "I think that's enough. Can you talk now?"

"That was bracing."

"I'm so sorry, Zev. I was dreaming about darkspawn and I thought you were one, I couldn't even see you. I'm so sorry."

"I am fine now, lad. I'll be more careful in the future. I'll be sure to keep my pretty neck out of reach in the future." Zevran held still as the younger man continued touching his neck. The light brushing of the lad's fingers against his skin made Zevran shiver and he found it hard to associate that gentle touch with the damage the hand had caused to his throat.

Finally Aonghas' dropped his hand from Zevran's neck and sighed deeply. "I'm really sorry, Zev."

"Enough, you repaired what you have done. Stop being sorry and tell me why I could feel your arm and hand trembling in fatigue. You've been moving around stiffly since the morning we left Denerim." He thought for a moment the lad was going to refuse to tell him but after a deep sigh the lad began to speak quietly so only Zevran could hear.

"Fergus and I talked and argued for the whole first day I was with him and then the last day he decided he needed to teach me a few things and so we went down to the training yard. We fought against each other for hours and he won barely more than I did, but it seemed to anger him more than anything. And then he… he decided to bring up, Alistair. We argued and fought about it and then he... well… let us just say he expressed his anger in a more physical way before sending me off with a warning to not cause anymore problems for King Alistair."

"A more physical way?"

"Please Zevran do not ask anymore. The day of fighting Fergus has every muscle in my body aching and trembling. It has been over two months since I last had to fight for so long. Fatigue as you said."

"Then we will stay here for a while."

"Thank you, Zev. Hopefully a couple of days will be enough." Zevran went back to his own bedroll as Aonghas lay down again. He could hear the lad shifting around trying to get comfortable before his breathing slowed to that of a man asleep. Zevran closed his eyes and fell into slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two: Family and Duty**_

Zevran met Fergus as the Teyrn passed near the camp on his way back to Highever. The two talked a good long time before Fergus continued on his way to Highever. Zevran watched the man and his entourage, until they were out of sight, with the letter Fergus had given him for Aonghas clutched in his hand. Finally with a sigh he turned to the two armored and helmed warriors beside him. "Well, let's get this over with shall we?" The armored knights nodded and after each had gathered the reins of two of the four horses, the slighter one gestured to the elf to lead the way. The elf started a steady stream of chatter. "He's not going to like this. Not one bit. I can just hear the tirade now and then the following pouting and sulking. No, this is not going to be one of my better days. You are both very quiet. Have you no opinions?" He asked the knights. When no response came he began muttering quietly to himself.

* * *

"No! I won't have it! How am I supposed to go around hiding who I am with two Highever Knights with me? Fergus is being unreasonable." Zevran wasn't surprised by Aonghas' reaction when he walked into the camp with their new entourage. He held out the letter to Aonghas, but the lad ignored it as he continued to stomp around the fire muttering. Finally he stopped before the two knights who hadn't moved aside from tying up the horses. Both of the knights stood at attention waiting to be addressed. "And I suppose your orders are to stay no matter what I order you to do." Aonghas gestured imperiously and ordered, "Leave! Go back to Highever!"

Neither knight moved for the longest time but finally the slighter one reached up removing her helm and shook out her shoulder length curly dark auburn hair; the second knight followed suit to reveal his identical yet shorter dark auburn curls. Both knights fastened their emerald green gazes on Aonghas with identical looks of scorn. Aonghas stepped back quickly out of reach of the two knights. Zevran watched in amazement as the female knight spoke softly, "Come now, cousin, have these temper tantrums ever worked for you in the past?"

"What? Wait. Since when did you two get back to Ferelden?" Zevran could tell that Aonghas was severely shaken to see his cousins. Zevran estimated the two to be somewhere between Aonghas and Fergus in age and they were obviously twins or close enough in age to be considered so. The female seemed the more verbal of the two and she answered Aonghas.

"We returned not long ago. We caught up with Fergus in Denerim the day after you left. We had heard of what had befallen Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Bryce and had feared we had lost Fergus and you as well. We went to Highever first and learned that you were both alive and that you were a hero."

"We found that hard to believe," announced the male cousin.

"Indeed; yet, everywhere we went the stories were confirmed. Of course we didn't believe it to be absolutely true until Fergus told us. To be honest I'm a bit surprised to see you still acting like the same spoiled brat we last saw when we left Ferelden."

Zevran watched Aonghas open and close his mouth a few times apparently trying to speak but the poor lad seemed hopelessly at a loss for words, so Zevran spoke up. "He does have his moments." Zevran's comment earned him a glare from Aonghas, but it had the desired effect.

"Look. Maybe I am acting childish." Zevran was pleasantly surprised that the lad was admitting his failing; perhaps Fergus was right that these two were well suited to helping Zevran with the task Fergus had set him. "It does not change the fact that I am trying to not let people know who I am. If I have two knights in shiny armor clunking around behind me it is going to cause suspicion. I appreciate that you would be willing to travel with me, but it is not going to happen."

"Perhaps, baby cousin, you should take the time to read the letter from Fergus that Zevran tried to give you before you start making any pronouncements," spoke the female cousin in her soft voice.

Aonghas sighed and turned to Zevran to receive the letter. He moved away from the others and opened it. He read for a time and then he balled the letter up and threw it to the ground and began cursing. Zevran hadn't realized that Aonghas had been paying that much attention to Alistair and Oghren when they were having their cursing contests, but as the words flowed easily from those pale pink lips Zevran knew he had once more underestimated the Grey Warden.

Finally the lad stopped his swearing and stomped back to face his cousins. "It is obvious I have no choice in this; but you can not go around traveling in that armor." Aonghas stirred up dust as he circled his cousins and he hit his male cousin's shield causing the man to sway, "Just as I suspected," he exclaimed before coming back around to face them. "Since when are you Cousland Knights?"

"It was always intended by your father to make us his knights but we wanted the chance to adventure first. We got the armor and shields in Highever. The steward said they had been set aside for us and Fergus made us official Knights in Denerim. Not to worry we will be leaving them behind. Fergus will have a runner sent to us with the gear that we left in Highever. Things will not be as dire as you are making them out to be."

"I give up." Aonghas threw his hands into the air in resignation and stomped over to his bedroll and sat down with a small wince. Majestic rolled over baring his belly and Aonghas absent mindedly rubbed it for him while muttering to himself.

Zevran moved and settled on the ground in between Bella and Aonghas. Bella's eyes had been fastened on the male warrior since he had removed his helm. Zevran nudged Aonghas. "So… cousins?"

"Second cousins on my mother's side. Have you been formally introduced?" Zevran shook his head and looked at the two knights as they stood on the other side of the fire. "Cousins Ryonah and Ryley, meet Zevran and Bella. Bella and Zevran meet Ryonah and Ryley."

The female nodded tersely but the male reached over to shake Zevran's hand, "I would be Ryley. It's a pleasure, Zevran. Fergus had much to say about you." He turned to Bella next and smiled at her in a gentle manner. "It's a pleasure to make your lovely acquaintance."

* * *

Aonghas lounged on his bedroll watching Bella and Ryonah chat about cooking herbs. Bella wasn't aware of his gaze but he knew his cousin was; she had glanced at him once and gave him the smallest of smiles before focusing back on her chat with Bella. Aonghas' gaze wandered over to the horses where he could see Zevran and Ryley; the two appeared to be having some kind of heated debate because Ryley was waving his hands around in emphasis as he spoke. Aonghas shifted around thinking about how in the last few days Ryley and Zevran seemed to spend most of their time together. They were all still waiting on his twin cousin's gear to arrive from Highever. Ryonah and Ryley seemed to be fitting in well with Bella and Zevran, but it didn't really surprise Aonghas. He had not spent much time with his cousins because they were a good six years older than him, but what he did remember of them is how they seemed to get along with everybody.

Aonghas' gaze fixed on Ryonah and he drew in a shaky breath as in that moment she had looked too much like his mother. Everybody had always remarked on how much she resembled Eleanor Cousland, but this was the first time Aonghas' had seen it. An ache settled in his chest and he blinked rapidly for a few moments before tearing his gaze from her and looking at his hound. Majestic was watching him carefully and he whined and moved closer to Aonghas crowding his human. Aonghas wrapped his arms around the war hound and laid his head against the dogs. The simple and familiar consciousness of the war hound invaded Aonghas' mind, making the human feel as if he and the hound were one and the same. The comfort and safety he always found in the consciousness of the mabari was an addiction that was often hard to avoid. If only he could live in that simple consciousness his life would be so much better.

"Aonghas, the food is ready." Aonghas jumped in surprise when Bella announced the food was ready. When he opened his eyes the day had already turned into night and the others were already gathered around the fire eating. That was the other problem with fading into Majestic's consciousness time seemed to flow differently for him; whole hours will have slipped by without his realizing it.

"He still does that I see," Ryley remarked to Zevran as he stared at his youngest cousin.

"That he does. He seems to do it much more lately." Zevran grinned at Ryley and gave him a wink.

Aonghas glared at them both as he began to eat. He hated when the two of them would start talking about him as if he couldn't hear them. He hadn't realized how much of a flirt his cousin Ryley was until he and Zevran had started this intricate dance of words with each other. They seemed to be determined to out do each other. Not all of their intrinsic conversations were in the nature of flirting but the ones that were had Aonghas blushing; even when they weren't including him in the banter, and on the occasions when they did try to draw him into the banter he was left flustered and unable to think clearly.

Aonghas had just finished eating when Ryonah spoke, "Youngest does the cleanup." Aonghas looked up in alarm his eyes going to her face trying to tell if she was serious or not. She wasn't laughing so he knew that wasn't a good sign and he could feel himself starting to get angry. Anger was starting to be a regular emotion for him; however, this anger was different because he could feel an edge of doubt creeping in; making him question if he really is entitled to be angry. The new dynamics created by his cousins joining his group had barely been discovered, but he wasn't sure he liked how things were shifting. He started to panic as these new feelings began to mirror the feelings of the six months before killing the archdemon.

"Things don't work like that in this group, Ryonah. We take turns doing things."

"Fair enough. Tonight you clean tomorrow somebody else will. You haven't done much today other than laze around. Surely scouring a few pots won't be too taxing."

"Agreed." Aonghas sighed as he knelt scouring pots and cleaning dishes; even though he was satisfied that he had made his point to his cousin he still wasn't sure she wouldn't try to take charge and make decisions for the group.

Wait. What? When had he changed this trip into some type of campaign or some such? At first it was just Zevran and him hitting the road to explore the world. Now it had morphed into some kind of huge challenge to prove himself. Aonghas sighed again and determined to try to get Zev alone to talk to him about it.

* * *

"What is it lad?" Zevran had settled close to Aonghas so they could talk privately.

"Zev, please stop calling me lad." Aonghas' voice was full of exasperation.

Zevran looked hurt, "It never bothered you before now. What gives?"

"I am really confused right now. We left Denerim without any real clear plan and I thought we would just travel around exploring without any expectations. But now with Bella and the twins I feel like I need to make some more clear plans."

"Or you could talk to everybody and make plans. Sometimes being a leader doesn't mean you have to make all of the decisions on your own. If you don't learn to share the burden it can overwhelm you."

"Listen, Zev. You were witness to mine and Alistair's power struggle during the last six months of the blight. I do not want to live like that again."

"I understand what you are saying, but that doesn't mean you have to take complete charge. We can all make decisions together, when you do that you can learn more from each other. Your cousins, Bella, and I are of about the same age and we all have different experiences behind us. Instead of thinking you have to make decisions and we all have to fall in line; decide to involve us in the process."

"You think that will work?"

"I think, my young friend, that if you do not want a battle on your hands it is the only way for it all to work. We are after all not trying to save Ferelden here. We are just going adventuring. Your cousins could be a great help there."

"I will do things that way then. I hope you are right and Zev… I am sorry about telling you not to call me lad. It does bother me sometimes but most of the time I know you are just showing me you care."

"Ah, you are a good, lad, to say so. Well I am off to harass your cousin he bet me I could not beat him in a knife toss." Zevran laughed and sauntered over to where Ryley had set up a target.

* * *

The party of six was in the midst of packing up camp to move closer to the Highever when a man in hood and cloak entered the camp. Majestic didn't even give a warning bark but instead trotted up to the figure and fell down showing his belly. The man knelt beside the dog and scratched the offered belly, "That's a good boy."

Aonghas moved forward quickly and pulled back the man's hood revealing the face of the man who was once his closest friend. "How did you find me?"

Jowan grinned, "Oddly enough I was thinking of looking for you in Denerim about a month ago when I ran into, Majestic. He brought me to a campsite a half a day from here and then left me there. I thought about leaving numerous times in the past month and I did venture off a few times but I kept going back to the camp because I wanted to see if he came back. And he did. I've been watching you for a while unsure if I should chance approaching you, but when I saw you packing up to leave I decided it is now or never."

Aonghas appeared speechless for a time and then as Jowan stood he spoke, "I'm glad you took the chance. I have been worried for you and I was hoping that I could find you and teach you the disguise talent I've learned."

"I saw you use it. I would be overjoyed if you could take the time to teach what you know." Jowan looked around Aonghas at the others in the group. "No templars or even ex-templars in your group?"

"No not this time." Aonghas turned to face his companions. "Jowan is an apostate does anybody have any objections to him traveling with us?" Zevran shook his head no as did Bella, but when Aonghas looked to his cousins they both were leaning close to each other whispering back and forth fiercely. "Ryonah? Ryley?"

Ryonah shook her head once and said no firmly to her twin brother before looking at Aonghas, "We do not have any issues with it at this time." She moved forward and held out her hand to Jowan. "You are welcome to join us, Jowan." Jowan touched his hand to hers as a pale blush touched his cheeks.

"Thank you, My Lady."

"My name is Ryonah, Jowan. We will not be using titles here. Right, baby cousin?"

Aonghas groaned at being called baby cousin again even as he grinned in delight, "That's right! Everybody is an equal in this group."

It wasn't long before everything was packed and because the pack horse was overloaded already Zevran and Bella rode together on one horse, while Jowan rode behind Aonghas on his. "Makers breath this is high off the ground," Jowan complained. Aonghas just laughed and told him to hold on tight as they began moving. The group wasn't able to travel the first day as far as they had hoped because they had not taken into account the strain on the horses carrying double.

Everyone; for the exception of Ryonah, Ryley and surprisingly Aonghas, moved uncomfortably around the camp after the long ride. The three more able companions made an effort to do most of the work to allow the others to recover. Aonghas even cooked, not well, but he cooked.

"I know where you learned to cook, my dear lad." Zevran had a teasing tone to his voice.

"Don't even go there, Zev." Aonghas gave the elf a warning look.

"Yes, it is reminiscent of the fine stews, our dear king made for us on the road." Zevran laughed and dodged the pebble Aonghas threw at him. "Truly a master piece, my grey warden."

"Shut up, Zev, or I'll make you eat it all!" Zevran laughed and laughed and it wasn't long before the others were joining him. Aonghas grumbled to himself before reluctantly chuckling in the spirit of the fun.

* * *

Majestic stood guard over his human. He could hear movement in the distance but he couldn't tell yet if those coming were a threat. They did not smell of the tainted beasts he and his human usually battled. Movement in camp drew his attention and the male of the twin litter of his pack approached.

The hunter knelt beside Majestic; acknowledging the hounds superiority and spoke, "What is it, Majestic? Do you sense those coming too?" Majestic felt pride in this pack member's ability to sense his surroundings and he touched his nose against the wrist the human exposed to him before shifting his gaze back in the direction of those coming, "Should I wake the others?" Majestic thought for a time and then he nudged the human's neck in agreement. Majestic pawed at his human as the other moved to wake his litter mate. The young one moaned but came awake and he responded like a good warrior and was up on his feet his staff in his hand staring in the correct direction in moments.

Majestic could hear the others moving around the camp preparing but he did not have the time to watch them as he sensed the strangers drawing closer. He bound away from the camp once he was sure they were all up and ready for danger. His strides brought him close to those coming and he gave them a wide birth as he scented them. Most of the scents were unfamiliar but there was one that was hauntingly familiar to him. His hackles arose in frustration as the owner of the scent eluded his memory. He circled around and around moving as close in as he dared trying to remember. Suddenly he knew he had been sensed and he faded into the trees as the familiar one came closer to him. Majestic heard the one call his name and the voice seemed familiar yet changed. Majestic moved further away and rushed back to his pack. He sent his message on ahead to his human trying to share what he had seen but the young one was unable to understand him completely. Majestic growled in frustration at his failure to make the human understand him and then he was back to camp and by his human's side.

Majestic remained alert but didn't sound a warning to his pack as the strangers came within sight of the camp. The one that had seemed familiar separated from the others and approached the camp.

"My Lady and My Lords, we have brought the horses and gear. Teyrn Cousland sends his regards." Majestic felt the others of the group relax and he let his guard down some but still watched carefully as the strangers joined the camp. The hound's duty to defend his human pack was one he took very seriously and one he would never fail in.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter Three: Bonding with Each Other and then Loss_**

Ryley and Zevran were riding ahead scouting; a skill in which Ryley's ability far exceeded Zevran's; however, Zevran was eager to learn what Ryley had to teach. The two had become close. Close enough that Ryley had already sated his curiosity about Zevran, and Zevran felt comfortable enough to allow his own curiosity to come forth.

"Did you grow up in Highever, Ryley?"

"Yes. We were raised with Fergus, he's a few years older than us but we were close to him."

"So you knew Aonghas well then?"

"Actually not that well, our difference in age was enough that by the time he became interesting we were busy learning more adult things. He was an adorable child though."

"He must have been lonely."

"I think he was at times but he got his fair share of attention. He use to follow Uncle Bryce or Fergus every where they went until somebody would come and take him away. He seemed to have a knack for showing up in places he wasn't suppose to be. When he was really small and we were around him more he use to make friends with anybody that came to the castle. He would sit on stranger's laps and cuddle with the ladies that came to see Uncle and Aunt." Ryley laughed, "The clearest memory I have of him is when he was about five. He always hung on the guards through the castle and they all handled it well but then they started to notice that things were missing. First it was keys, which as you can imagine was a bit upsetting to everybody. Missing keys were never a good thing. Then belt pouches began disappearing and even a few daggers here and there. Everybody became alarmed and I even found myself standing before Aunt Eleanor and Uncle Bryce with them questioning me if I was culprit. Finally as the guards became more alert one who had just been hung on all over by young Aonghas realized his belt pouch was lighter than it had been and upon inspecting it he found that his coin was gone. Now as I understand it the guard kept it to himself for a time, but he and Fergus were friends so he approached Fergus and shared his suspicions. At first Fergus thought the man couldn't possibly be right, but Ryonah, Fergus, and I searched Aonghas room and found everything in the bottom of the five year old Aonghas' toy chest." Ryley laughed richly and Zevran couldn't help but join him before speaking.

"That is amazing. Aonghas once told me he had been stealing since before he could walk but I thought he was just exaggerating."

"He may have been stealing even younger because we did find toys that the three of us had accused each other of taking in the same toy chest. We figured he had just been using them and Nan had assumed they were his but there is always a chance he did it himself. Needless to say Aunt Eleanor was appalled by the whole situation and although Uncle Bryce acted as if he was too; I could swear I saw pride shining in his eyes. I once heard Uncle Bryce say to Aunt Eleanor, "Ryley and Aonghas are very clever. We need to find outlets for that cleverness or we'll have a couple of troublemakers on our hands." Aunt Eleanor must have agreed because a couple of days later one of the castle scouts came to me with orders to train me in being a scout. I know he spent a bit of time with Aonghas to, but mostly he trained me."

"I had wondered where a person raised as a noble would gain your skills. So you weren't in Ferelden when the darkspawn horde appeared?"

"No, when Ryonah and I turned sixteen, our father came and took us traveling with him. Aunt Eleanor wasn't pleased; I remember her telling Father that we were too young to live his life, but he was our father and she had no choice but to let us go."

"So you were gone from Ferelden since you were sixteen?"

"Oh, no, we came back about six years before the blight and after our father died. We stayed for about two years and then left to travel more. Aonghas had been taken to the Circle of Magi about two months before we arrived. Ryonah and Aunt Eleanor spent every moment together. I know that Aunt Eleanor was a wreck, but I think having Ryonah there helped her, so I didn't complain about staying in one place. Majestic and I did take a trip to the Circle of Magi to try to see Aonghas. We were not allowed in but I think Majestic felt better after being closer to Aonghas. Ryonah was hesitant to leave but I couldn't take staying any longer and she came with me to 'keep me out of trouble' she said. Then we heard news that the Cousland's were murdered by Rendon Howe and we returned to Highever and then we met up with Fergus in Denerim."

"Did you meet, Alistair?"

Ryley sighed but Zevran wasn't sure what kind of sigh it was, "Yes. He's… I don't know how to describe him. I think Ryonah and I both fell for him the moment he opened his mouth and greeted us. Fergus had spoken highly of him to us but it wasn't until we met him that we realized how important to Ferelden he is. He joked with us as if we were his friends and he even flirted a bit with me, but more with Ryonah. I haven't really talked to Ryonah about it but I think she would marry him if he asked."

"Marry him? You do know about him and Aonghas?"

Ryley sighed again and this time it definitely sounded like exasperation, "Yes we know all about it. When King Alistair learned that Fergus wished us to join Aonghas he spoke of it to Ryonah and I. He made it clear to us that he would always love our baby cousin but that he had to break it off so that any wife he later married would not feel like she was second best, or just a marriage of convenience. He was heartbroken that Aonghas was having such a hard time with it. I told him that a person like Aonghas who was use to getting things his own way and who was quick minded enough to outthink those around him would have a hard time adjusting. Ryonah and I promised to help Aonghas to the best of our ability. I'm not sure yet how to deal with it all and neither is Ryonah."

"It will be difficult, Ryley my friend, but we have to find out how. Alistair and Aonghas deserve better."

"That they do, Zevran my friend." The two rode in silence from then on; both lost in their thoughts.

* * *

Aonghas, Ryley, and Zevran had left the others at the tavern to do a couple of jobs to earn coin. They were the type of jobs that required stealth, cunning, and agility to accomplish; the type of jobs that had caused Ryonah to give Aonghas and Ryley stern looks when she heard of them. The others had thought about not telling Ryonah but as Zevran had pointed out if she didn't know where they were and something happened there would be no chance of rescue. Aonghas strode ahead of the other two his mind already focused and planning the break in they were to accomplish first. Zevran's own mind was equally occupied when Ryley spoke.

"So, Aonghas?" Aonghas stopped walking and impatiently turned to face his cousin. Zevran stopped next to Ryley unsure where this conversation was to lead.

"Now isn't the greatest time for us to chat. What is it?" His voice was scornful and irritated; however, it didn't discourage his cousin as he had obviously hoped it would. Zevran began to feel a bit uneasy as the two gave each other harsh looks.

"I have a few questions that I want answered, before we go any further." Ryley's voice was firm and broached no argument

Exasperated Aonghas sighed before speaking in an imperious tone, "Fine. Ask your questions." Zevran shook his head at the familiar tone.

"Talking to me in that tone will not be tolerated. Consider this your first and last warning." Ryley glared into his cousin's eyes his entire being exuding dominance.

Zevran watched in awe as Aonghas appeared to struggle against that dominance. The younger man's eyes had widened in surprise as his cousin uttered the words and then his face became scarlet and he met his cousin glare for glare, but as the two stared each other down Zevran could see the strain on the lad. First his eyes seemed to strain to keep their glare fastened on Ryley and then the lads fists clenched as if ready to fight. Just as the lad's body appeared to tremble in preparation for battle he heaved a deep sigh. Zevran stared in amazement as the lad's body relaxed and the color in his face faded and then the lad averted his eyes from his cousin's and spoke softly, "Understood."

Zevran was beside himself in shock because he had never seen Aonghas give in to another. Was this because Ryley was family; or was it because the lad had decided that he had been in the wrong? Was Aonghas finally starting to mature? Zevran stopped his contemplation as Ryley asked his question.

"What kind of game were you playing at with King Alistair?" Zevran stared in shock at Ryley for a moment before turning his gaze on Aonghas to see his reaction.

Aonghas turned away from them seemly not surprised by the question, "It was a mistake, Ryley. I wasn't thinking clearly at the time."

"You didn't answer my question." Zevran was surprised at how gentle Ryley's voice sounded considering the two had looked ready to shred each other moments before.

Aonghas heaved a loud sigh before speaking, "I was trying to keep control of my leadership. I knew Alistair had never been with anybody so I figured I would see if I could gain back the control by seducing him." Zevran found himself staring at Aonghas in shock. Zevran had known that Alistair and Aonghas were engaging in some kind of power struggle, but he had not realized that Aonghas purposefully had set out to seduce Alistair for the sole purpose of gaining power. "It worked fine in the beginning; he was almost in a daze. After we went to find his sister and after I told him everybody is out for them selves; things began to change within Alistair and he became more interested in being part of the decision making. I didn't handle it well. We began to fight more and more often. I wasn't willing to give an inch and he was unwilling to go back to the way he had been before. In the end..."

"He broke it off," Ryley finished the sentence for his cousin. "Do you hate him for it?"

"I don't know. I hadn't realized that I had fallen for him until it was too late and then he ended it. He didn't even leave it open to discussion. He made his decision and expected me to live by it." Aonghas turned back to look at his cousin his eyes swimming in pain. "He told me he still loves me. I don't see how he can say that and then deny us being together."

"You understand duty, baby cousin." Ryley moved forward and place his hands on Aonghas shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Duty is all Alistair has to base his decisions on right now. Hopefully in time he will learn other ways, but for now it is who he is. You need to let him go. I know you don't feel like you can right now but I want you to try and understand that Duty comes first when you think about King Alistair." As Zevran watched he could see Aonghas struggling with what his cousin had told him, but before Aonghas could respond Ryley pulled his cousin into his arms and held him tightly. "Let it go, cousin."

Aonghas did not cry but he held tight to his cousin before pulling away, "Is that all for now?" Ryley nodded and Aonghas spun around and continued on their path.

Ryley whispered to Zevran, "I won the coin toss on who would have the pleasure of confronting him about King Alistair; however, I think my sister will be pleased at how I handled things." Zevran looked at the human with both eyebrows raised in surprise. Ryley grinned at Zevran and gave him a wink before moving to catch up with his cousin.

* * *

Jowan tried to cast the disguise spell but failed yet again. He had hoped he would learn quickly so he would not become a burden to his friend. Aonghas cast the spell on Jowan on a daily basis making it impossible for anybody to recognize him. There was part of Jowan that wanted the process to take longer. He felt welcomed by Aonghas and everyone else in the group and he was dreading the day when he would have to leave. Bella and Jowan had become close and Jowan couldn't imagine not being able to wish her good morning. Could this be love? Bella saw Jowan looking and smiled at him causing the man to blush.

* * *

Bella smiled across the camp fire at Jowan and giggled when the man blushed. Earlier that day she had caught him alone and given him a lingering kiss. How odd she thought it was that she would begin to fall for him. It was early yet to consider it possible that she was in love but the feelings inside her whenever she was near him felt stronger than any had in the past. When she had joined Aonghas she had thought that things with them might progress further, but Aonghas seemed wrapped up in his feeling for another. This Jowan didn't frighten her as he should have; she knew he was an apostate and a blood mage as well. He had used blood magic in the past, but he had assured them all he would no longer. Aonghas seemed to trust him. Bella had left Denerim looking for a future and she couldn't help but think that this Jowan was her future.

* * *

Aonghas watched the interplay between Jowan and Bella with a smile.

Aonghas looked up at his cousin Ryley when he stepped in front of him. Aonghas made room for his cousin on his bedroll and the older man sat beside him. "Mind answering a few questions, baby cousin?"

"Is this a continuation of our earlier conversation?"

"No that will hold for another time. I want to talk to you about you and Zevran."

"What about us?" Aonghas asked in curiosity unable to understand why his cousin would bring it up.

"You are friends?"

"Yes, we are friends. He's one of the best friend's I've ever had even if he did try to kill me once."

Ryley chuckled as his cousin's tone turned wry when mentioning Zevran having tried to assassinate him. "Yes, I can see that he is a good friend to you. Is that the only way you see him? Just as a friend?"

Aonghas looked confused, "Just as a friend? What are you trying to ask me?"

"Do you think you may have a more intimate interest in him?"

"Wait. Oh… No I am not interested in Zevran that way. Why?"

"Then you won't mind if I take him up on his advances towards me? I had turned him down because I was unsure what your feelings for him were."

"Seriously?" Aonghas chuckled but when his cousin started to look dangerous he answered quickly, "No I don't mind. I have no interest in an 'intimate' relationship with Zevran. Why are you even asking me?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you weren't going to accuse me of taking him from you. Thank you, cousin."

Before Aonghas could say anything else Ryley stood and stalked around the camp fire to Zevran. Aonghas watched Ryley talk to Zevran and although the elf seemed surprised by Ryley's sudden change of heart he didn't resist when Ryley leaned down and kissed him deeply. Aonghas smiled and nudged his toes under Majestic's belly to keep them warm.

* * *

Ryonah beckoned Aonghas to join her at the horses. Aonghas slowly walked to her and when he stopped behind her; as she brushed down one of the horses, she began to speak. "We need to have a talk, Aonghas." Aonghas didn't have time to answer her before she continued. "Fergus plans to approach Alistair about considering me for marriage in a few months." Aonghas could feel himself begin to tremble as his cousin continued to speak. "You and Alistair have a past and I feel that it would not be fair if I didn't make it clear to you that I have agreed to Fergus doing so." Ryonah turned to Aonghas then and looked him in the face. "I am sorry if this hurts you, but you need to understand that it is the right thing for me to do. I have no way of knowing if Alistair will agree or if he and I will make the final decision of marrying." Trembling more fiercely than before Aonghas took two backward steps away from his cousin and then fled into the forest without saying a word. Ryonah sighed and went back to grooming the horses.

Aonghas wandered the forest aimlessly; his mind in a haze of shock. Why hadn't he seen this coming? Of course Fergus would try to acquire a marriage for his cousin and of course Ryonah being who she is would be interested in marrying Alistair. Aonghas had tried to convince himself that Alistair would change his mind about being with Aonghas, but Aonghas felt a sudden aching pain in his chest as this newest shock forced its harsh reality upon him. Alistair and he were over. Alistair had discarded him to take up the throne that Aonghas had encouraged him to take. Even as he thought that Aonghas knew it wasn't the way it had happened; however, a part of him screamed and raged at the unfairness of it all. The thought of his cousin with Alistair made him want to kill something. Suddenly Aonghas stopped and looked around wondering where he was and then he saw it. An extremely large tree off the side of the trail which showed minor scars where the bark had once been damaged. Aonghas approached the tree and rested a hand against the scarred area. "How is it that I come here to you at this moment," whispered Aonghas. Aonghas leaned his back against the tree and stared up into its branches. Aonghas cried out and sank to the ground as his mind exploded with memories of Alistair. Aonghas was overwhelmed as the images assaulted his consciousness replaying every memory of Alistair from the moment he had met him until the last time he had seen him. Had the replay happened just once Aonghas could have recovered, but just as he saw Alistair as he last had seen him it all began again. "I want wish I had never been born," Aonghas whispered as images of Alistair continued to plague him.

* * *

Majestic suddenly barked frantically at those in the camp, his human was in danger and he needed the others of the pack to help. Moments later only Bella remained at the camp to keep order. Majestic lead the others quickly and they had some trouble keeping up on foot but the horses would have taken too long to gather after being frightened by the frantic war hound. Majestic howled mournfully when he reached his human for he could smell the blood of many wounds upon him. The others crowded in and Majestic couldn't help but snap at them in frustration. "Easy, boy. Let us see to him." Majestic backed of for the male of the twins and began pacing and whining.

Zevran moved up alongside Ryley and the others. "No! Not this again!" The others clamored to know what he meant as they began inspecting the blood covered Aonghas, "Every wound has reopened again. Jowan how much healing do you know?"

"Not enough to save him."

"Then we must get him to a healer and quickly." Zevran struggled to lift his friend up but Ryley pushed him aside and took the lad up in his arms. Zevran ran towards camp. "I'll get the horses ready. Jowan heal him as best you can."

Ryley slowly walked trying not to open any of his cousin's wounds further as Jowan flitted around him trying to stem the tide of the more serious wounds. Ryonah had rushed ahead with Zevran and by the time Ryley arrived with Aonghas the camp was packed and the horses were ready to go.

"Where to?" questioned Ryley as his sister took their cousin long enough for him to climb on his horse. Nobody answered as Ryonah helped Ryley settle Aonghas before him on the horse. They had taken the time to strip Aonghas to apply bandages and compresses to the worst of his wounds and then they had wrapped him in blankets and furs. Ryley took the rope Zevran handed him and tied it around himself and Aonghas. Zevran quickly helped adjust Aonghas so that his feet rested on Ryley's feet and then Zevran jumped onto the rump of the horse and helped secure Aonghas so that he would remain firmly against Ryley's front. If the two fell they were both in danger but the hell ride they were facing gave them no choice but to tie the two together so Ryley could focus on guiding the horse instead of holding his cousin. Zevran jumped back down and fussed with the blankets and firs trying to cover Aonghas' feet and legs the best he could.

"Highever is the closest now. It will be two days and nights of hard riding." Everybody nodded and the last thing that was heard at the camp site was a mournful howl followed by the steady beat of horse's hooves that faded into the distance.

* * *

Fergus Cousland was enjoying a relaxing dinner in Highever Castle when a guard rushed into the room and leaned over to speak into Fergus' ear, "My Lord. Lord Aonghas' and your Lady and Lord cousin are minutes away from arriving. According to the elf Zevran; Aonghas is mortally wounded."

Fergus could feel his face drain of color and he stood without a word to the dinner party and rushed out of the hall and through the castle to the front courtyard. Just as Fergus arrived in the courtyard Ryley burst through the front entrance on horseback with Aonghas bundled on the horse in front of him. Fergus rushed forward as the Zevran began cutting through the ropes binding Aonghas to Ryley. Fergus stared in shock as his men carried his blood covered brother into the castle. Fergus felt Ryonah's hand on his shoulder and he slowly turned to her as she began speaking. "Zevran said this happened once before and that Aonghas was able to come out of it."

"What happened?" Fergus voice was short and abrupt as he hid his emotions.

"Every wound he has ever received simultaneously reappeared." Ryonah's tone of voice was an echo of Fergus'. The two continued talking in a business like manner.

"What caused it?"

"It was after I told him about your plan to approach Alistair about considering me for marriage. I think I pushed him too far too soon."

Fergus suddenly felt angry. "So then this is him throwing another tantrum?"

"He appeared devastated when I told him, My Lord." Ryonah's voice sounded distressed and then she spoke in her normal soft voice with a hint of remorse. "I'm sorry, cousin, I don't know what it is. We didn't have much time to talk about it with Zevran. Now that he'll have healers around him we can take the time to question Zevran further."

Fergus saw Ryley staggering towards him with a look of exhausted panic; Fergus caught the younger man as he began to collapse and pulled his blood soaked cousin into his embrace. Fergus could feel Ryley trembling in reaction and he smoothed back the man's hair as Ryley began apologizing repeatedly. "Shush, everything is alright now. Take deep breaths cousin." Ryley quieted and sagged into a faint. "Men a little help here." Two men rushed forward and took the unconscious Ryley up in their arms and into the castle. Fergus lay his arm across Ryonah shoulders and lead her into the castle after gesturing to Zevran to follow with the other members of the group.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four: For Friendship and that Pesky Thing Called Duty**_

Alistair opened the letter from Highever with some excitement. He was looking forward to hearing news of Aonghas, but as he read the letter he felt fear settle in.

_**To King Alistair Theirin**_

_**From Teyrn Fergus Cousland**_

_**My Dearest Friend King Alistair,**_

_**It was my intention to write you in a couple of months requesting an audience with you; however, instead of requesting that you grant me an audience in Denerim I am hopeful that you will honor this request to come to Highever. The service you and Aonghas performed for Ferelden will be remembered fondly. **_

_**Aonghas has become as he was after Redcliff. What you did at that time made it possible for the blight to end and Ferelden to be saved. It has been two weeks as of the time of this writing and just when Aonghas seems close, "it" happens again. Zevran assures me that you know of what I speak. He says you were the only reason that all was saved.**_

_**I know I am asking more than you may be able to give, but Aonghas' companions have begged that I ask this of you.**_

_**Your Most Ardent Supporter**_

_**Teyrn Fergus Cousland**_

_**P.S. Majestic says to hurry.**_

Alistair could feel the fear coursing through his body paralyzing his mind and body once more as he relived the event of which Fergus spoke.

_Aonghas was laying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs with Wynne and Leliana hovering over him trying to get him to answer them. Alistair froze unable to move as the scene played out before him. The men who had been training in the front yard rushed by him, but still Alistair couldn't move. A sharper cry of dismay came from Leliana as she raised a hand covered in blood. Wynne ordered the men to help remove Aonghas' armor and Alistair just stared his vision narrowed down so that all he could see was Aonghas' crumpled body. As the armor came off the source of the blood was revealed, but as more armor was removed it became clear that there was more than one wound, but the worse of them was what appeared to be a gaping hole in the downed mage's thigh. It was definitely an arrow wound with no arrow but there were burn marks around the wound. Alistair still hadn't moved when the castle doors opened and Eamon, Teagan, and Isolde rushed out along with more soldiers. Alistair's eyes remained fastened on Aonghas as he was loaded onto a stretcher and taken inside. As the doors closed Alistair closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer to the Maker._

Alistair dragged himself up from the memory and began making preparations to leave the following morning. He did not even argue about the decision with anybody. He ordered and told his advisors that he was going.

Fergus, Zevran, and the others left Alistair alone in the room with Aonghas. Alistair stood leaning against the wooden door and gazed around the room looking anywhere but at Aonghas. He had been told this was Aonghas childhood room and he smiled as he saw the armor he had last seen Aonghas in on its stand. Majestic padded up to Alistair at that moment and began whining pitifully. Alistair knelt down in front of the hound and wrapped his arms around the hound's large neck to rest his cheek against the hound's jowls. How many times had Alistair seen Aonghas do this with his hound? Alistair knew he could not sense and commune with the hound as Aonghas had but the hound seemed to quiet down. "I'm here now, loyal friend." The hound pressed his nose against Alistair's neck and then pulled away to jump onto the bed and settle at Aonghas' feet once more.

Slowly Alistair moved across the room leaving his cloak hanging over the armor stand. When he reached the bed he saw Aonghas was reaching a hand out towards him. Alistair hadn't been surprised when Zevran told him that he knew Alistair was near because Aonghas had muttered Alistair's name and reached a hand out towards the door moments before Alistair's arrival was announced. Alistair thought about going to the other side of the bed to test the theory but he found his legs shaky at the sight of Aonghas covered in blood soaked bandages. Fergus had said that the healers were having trouble keeping up with the wounds and more healers had been called for to spell the others.

Alistair felt an involuntary moan escape his lips and he settled on the edge of the bed wanting to hold the lad in his arms to comfort him as he had that first time in Orzammar. It was before they had become intimate and after a series of extremely bad dreams about the darkspawn. If he held him now would it confuse Aonghas even more? Would it give Aonghas false hope? Alistair did not doubt his own love of Aonghas but he could not continue the intimate relationship without jeopardizing all Eamon had fought for. Alistair had tried to explain things to Aonghas but the younger man seemed to purposefully pick and choose what he heard. Alistair cringed as the conversation replayed in his mind.

_"You think you owe Eamon more than you owe me, Alis?"_

_Alistair had growled in frustration at the time. "Why are you saying that, Aon? I will not sit here and compare who owes who the most."_

_"Then you are admitting that it's true." Aonghas used his snide tone the one that had driven Alistair to confront him more than once, but this time Alistair didn't respond to the bait._

_"I am doing no such thing. This isn't about who I owe what to. It's about duty."_

_"You and your bloody duty kick! What about loyalty, friendship, and love?"_

_"Duty kick? This isn't some trivial personality trait I picked up one day. I have always tried to do my duty first. And you dare to question me about loyalty? Where is your loyalty to me as your king?"_

_"Oh! You would just love it if I bowed down before you and proved my loyalty by kissing your bloody boots!" Aonghas face had become flushed in anger and Alistair could clearly hear his breath panting in his rage._

_"That wasn't what I meant and you know it." Alistair surprised himself at how calm and non confrontation his voice had come out._

_"Says you!" Aonghas' anger was still growing and it was obvious to Alistair that things were going to get worse if he didn't put a stop to it._

_"Aonghas stop this. I don't want to fight with you. I just wanted to take this opportunity to try to help you understand where I am coming from so things will not be so hard for you."_

_"You told me you would always love me, Alistair!"_

_"I do still love you but our intimate relationship is over."_

_"You can't just decide that all on your own. There are two of us here."_

_"Is that like how you are trying to decide for both of us that the relationship isn't over?"_

_"I can't believe this!" Aonghas had rushed Alistair at the point and Alistair did something that to this day he regretted._

Alistair came out of his memory with a shudder and took Aonghas' hand to hold between both of his own. "I wish my dearest of friends that I could give you what you want, but I cannot. I will kiss you one last time if you heal yourself and come back to us." Alistair leaned forward over Aonghas' body and pressed his lips against Aonghas' kissing the unresponsive lips. Alistair kissed Aonghas long and deeply. It was a kiss; gentler than any kiss they had ever shared. Slowly through Alistair's closed eyes he could see a glow and when he opened his eyes and pulled away he could see Aonghas glowing and his wounds healing. Alistair brushed his lips one more time lightly across Aonghas' and when he opened his eyes again, Aonghas' glowing emerald green eyes met and tangled with his own. Aonghas spoke his voice scratchy from disuse.

"One more, please?" Alistair hesitated for a moment and then leaned down to give Aonghas his last kiss. Aonghas kept the kiss as gentle as Alistair had previously but he wrapped his arms around Alistair to pull them close together. When Alistair went to pull away Aonghas tightened his grip and turned the kiss more intense. Alistair didn't resist as his heart began to pound fiercely. Alistair knew he should stop the kiss now but he wanted to remember the feel of those lips against his. When Aonghas began to arch his back and turned the kiss more frantic Alistair broke away from Aonghas' weakened grip and sat up. He ran a finger gently along a ragged scar that curved along Aonghas' left cheek bone towards the temple. He could feel Aonghas shudder as he touched the scar and with a sigh Alistair pulled away.

"No more Aonghas. I want your promise that you will ask for no more of me."

Alistair could see the tears welling up in the younger man's eyes and he almost went back on his own decision before Aonghas spoke softly. "I am sorry for the way I treated you, Alistair. I promise you from this day forth that I will be your friend only and not ask of you what your duty will not allow."

Alistair could feel himself smile as he took Aonghas' hand into his own. "We are forever friends then, Aonghas?"

"Friends forever, Alistair." Aonghas whispered the last as he drifted off to a natural sleep.

* * *

Aonghas was frustrated at how long his body was taking to recover, before it had only taken about a week for him to be ready to move on. It had already been two weeks since he had awoken and he was still having dizzy spells after a hard work out or sword practice. His impatience to move on stemmed more from watching Alistair and Ryonah spending time together than wanting to leave Highever. It wasn't just Ryonah and Alistair who were forging bonds. Zevran and Ryley were becoming closer and spending more and more time together. Jowan and Bella seemed to have become an item; Aonghas had walked around a corner of the Highever library book shelves and caught his best friend and Bella kissing a couple of days before.

Fergus lectured Aonghas daily about duty and the two brothers seemed to be repairing their bond despite their flare ups in temper at each other. Aonghas wanted to hang on to his rage at the unfairness of the world; yet, something had happened while he was unconscious that almost seemed to ease the rage. What good would it do him to rage against another's sense of duty? How could he deny another a chance at happiness?

Jowan was actually starting to learn the disguise spell and Aonghas couldn't help but wonder if his best friend and Bella will choose to stay in Highever when he leaves. There was no doubt that Zevran and Ryley would join Aonghas, but the others he wasn't so sure about anymore. Part of Aonghas worried that Fergus would try to keep him in Highever.

Aonghas couldn't help but wonder how long Alistair thought he could get away with not going back to Denerim and he was sure that Alistair received letters daily from the Arl Eamon.

All these questions, that the others seem happy to not voice, keep Aonghas awake longer than is healthy for him. One week later Aonghas was relieved to once more feel he was close to his peak strength.

"We need to talk, Aonghas." Aonghas lowered his wooden practice sword and stared at his brother for a moment before gesturing in consent. "It's been three weeks since you have been back with us and you seem to be nearly healed. I'm sure you will be wanting to get back to traveling as soon as possible, but before you can do that we need to go back to Denerim for King Alistair's and Ryonah's engagement announcement." Aonghas just stared at his brother with a resigned look. "We want to leave in four days. Can you be ready?"

Aonghas nodded as he answered, "Yes," and then lifted his wooden practice sword again and waited for Fergus to raise his sword to fight. The two spent the next hour trying to get through each other's guard but neither was successful. Exhausted they both called a halt to the practice and retired for the day.

* * *

Alistair sat on a side bench in the training yard at Highever Castle drinking slowly from a tankard of water; his breathing was still irregular and he could still feel himself sweating after his bout against Ryonah. Alistair couldn't believe how she managed to hold her own against him despite his heavier build and longer reach. The more time he spent with the woman the more he found himself in awe of her. The fact that she wished to be his wife was overwhelming to say the least. Alistair fixed his gaze on his soon to be fiancé and when she turned to him and smiled he felt his breath catch for a moment and a blush settle in his cheeks. Alistair looked away quickly to where Aonghas and Ryley were battling it out. Ryley was quicker than Aonghas but it was obvious that Aonghas had picked up a bit of speed himself, as Alistair watched he realized that the younger warden had put on a bit of bulk since he had first met him. When had that happened? A flash of movement to his right distracted Alistair and he looked up into Ryonah's gaze. She smiled as he made room for her on the bench and she settled beside him and turned her gaze to Ryley and Aonghas.

"We should probably talk a bit about you and Aonghas. I know that you ended your relationship and I want you to know that I realize how hard it must be for you. Aonghas seems to be taking it better than he was. Thank you for coming here to bring him back to us. Fergus has lost so much and it would have been much worse for him if he lost Aonghas too."

"I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to bring him back. What if it happens again and he and I don't have a connection?"

"You will always have your grey warden connection and all that you went through. Don't belittle the affect you have on my cousin even if you don't happen to be sleeping with him." Alistair could feel his face get hot as the woman spoke so casually about his and Aonghas' intimate relationship. "Aonghas is a good man. He will learn from his mistakes and move on. I have faith in him."

"I hope he will be alright. He and I don't have the grey warden thing now that I am King."

"Do you believe that you are no longer a grey warden? I think that is something you will always be even if you are King as well. Do you wish you were still with the wardens?"

"Sometimes I wish things were back to being simple. Following orders was comfortable for me. Leading is a struggle. Taking responsibility for others terrifies me."

"You seem to be doing well. Unlike Fergus you were not raised to rule and I am grateful that you encourage help from Fergus and others."

"I like Fergus. He feels like a brother to me. He's helped me more than I had thought possible. At first I was afraid he would go back to Highever and leave me alone to face the wolves but he is rarely away for long." Alistair chuckled softly.

"It is hard for him to be in Highever. Aonghas seems to struggle being here too." Alistair watched as a wistful look came over Ryonah beautiful face. "It saddens me because I feel like they both lost more than their family when Howe overtook Highever. I'm glad that you have included Fergus in your group of advisors." Ryonah graced Alistair with another of her smiles and he felt his heart skip a beat. "Well, I need to go get cleaned up. Try not to injure yourself fighting the others or you'll have no chance against me tomorrow." Ryonah laughed before leaving the training yard.

Alistair watched her go with what he knew had to be a stupid looking grin on his face and when a shadow fell across him he looked up at grinning Fergus, "Going to sit here staring all day, your majesty, or are you going to fight me?" Alistair grinned back and stood; and after regaining his wooden shield and practice sword he met Fergus in the training yard.

* * *

Aonghas Cousland rode beside his brother with his eyes fastened on Alistair and Ryonah as they chatted with each other. He couldn't hear what they were saying but it seemed important. Aonghas glanced at Fergus and in a moment of weakness sneered at his older brother, "Are you proud of yourself?"

Fergus turned to Aonghas and gave him a glare, "Watch your tone with me, Little Brother. Am I proud of myself for what?"

Aonghas swallowed hard against his suddenly dry throat and changed his tone. "Are you proud that you played matchmaker with those two?"

"I wouldn't call it proud but I am pleased that they are getting on well. I was worried that being king was getting to Alistair. I think Ryonah and he will make a good team. She'll definitely help boast his confidence."

Aonghas scoffed, "Pffft, I've never known her to be supportive."

"Well she is good at knocking people off their high horses when they need that. Alistair doesn't need to be knocked down, he needs to be strengthened. Ryonah learned her skills from mother and we both know how good mother was with people. She can do for Alistair what no other person can."

"You always think you're right don't you?"

"Aonghas, why are you picking a fight with me? If you really want to fight we can have a bladed bout, but I will not tolerate any attitude from you."

Aonghas couldn't help but sneer at his older brother, "Maker forbid the lowly grey warden voice his opinions to the high and mighty Teyrn," and he didn't need the rage on his brother's face to let him know he would have been better off keeping quiet. Aonghas pulled on his horse's reins to move out of his brother's reach, but the older man stopped his own horse and called out a halt to the rest of the group.

"We're stopping for a while." His next words put Aonghas on the spot, "Aonghas and I are going to have a bladed bout." Fergus swung down from his horse and taking his drawn sword with him he moved to an open area off the side of the road.

Aonghas stared at his brother until he felt the eyes of the others on him and then he pulled his sword free of its sheaf and kicked his horse into motion and attempted to run his brother down, but his cousin's Ryonah and Ryley blocked his path at the last moment and he had to force his horse into a rear to avoid crashing into them. Aonghas felt himself slipping from the saddle and then his horse settled. Ryonah and Ryley crowded him and the looks on their faces were enough to make him slide backwards and escape them by sliding over and off of his horse's rump. He moved quickly away from the horses and the twins didn't pursue him. Aonghas looked at Alistair for a moment and then wished he hadn't because the older man gave him a reproachful look. Aonghas looked away from Alistair to where his brother waited and taking a deep breath Aonghas moved to fight his brother.

Aonghas rushed at his brother as adrenaline rushed through his system. His mixture of emotions incited his body to battle and as his adrenaline continued to surge he swung his blade at his brother's neck. The crash of the blades as Fergus blocked sent a shock of pain through Aonghas' right arm so as he sprang back from his brother he gripped his sword with both hands. Fergus moved toward him and Aonghas barely managed to parry his brother's sword as it swung in a wicked arch towards Aonghas neck. Aonghas jumped back again after parrying and just managed to dodge under Fergus' next strike. Aonghas attacked as he slipped around his brother stabbing his sword towards the man's armpit, but Fergus spun quickly while stepping to the side and parried Aonghas' blade. Aonghas jumped away from his brother quickly as Fergus turned the parry into a wild swing which purpose was to allow him to face Aonghas head on.

The two brothers didn't move for a moment and then Fergus sprang forward and swung his blade in a two handed over headed downward blow that forced Aonghas to slide a gauntleted covered hand down to the lower end of his blade for added support as he raised his own sword over his head to block the blow. Fergus' sword slammed down hard sending sparks flying and Aonghas sank down to one knee at the force of the blow. The two brothers glared fiercely at each other before Aonghas heaved upwards attempting to throw his brother off of his blade, but Fergus' greater strength and bulk prevent Aonghas from succeeding. Aonghas used his quicker reflexes to try to heave the swords upwards again just enough to dodge out from under his brother's blade and he narrowly avoided his brother's blade as it finished its downward strike.

Aonghas could feel his body trembling with adrenaline as he and Fergus squared off again. As the adrenaline peaked Aonghas flung himself forward and he feinted an over headed swing before quickly switching it to slash at his brother from the side. Fergus was not fooled by the feint and he stepped back and used Aonghas momentum to force Aonghas' blade to the side away and in front of himself while also forcing Aonghas to follow the blade making it possible for Fergus to seize Aonghas right gauntlet covered wrist. Fergus gripped the wrist tightly and pulled back and hard to his side forcing his little brother off balance. Aonghas released his right handed grip on the sword and attempted to bring the sword around with his left hand but when his brother jerked him off balance he lost his momentum and Fergus easily parried the blade with his own.

Aonghas struggled to regain his balance but his brother used the grip on his wrist to keep him off balance; each left handed swing he attempted to make was pulled off line by a yank on his captured wrist and then easily cast aside by his brother's sword. Aonghas refused to give in as he continued to battle with his brother's blade while at the same time trying to twist his wrist out of his brother's grip. Finally Aonghas slammed his right booted foot into his brother's shin but with a hard yank his brother sent him tumbling to the ground. Aonghas hit the ground hard knocking his breath out of him as he landed on his back and the impact slammed his head into the ground, while sending his sword flying. Aonghas reached for his dagger to defend himself but suddenly he felt cold steel at his throat and looked up at his brother. Fergus was panting heavily and his eyes were cold in his rage as he pressed the tip of his sword against Aonghas throat, "Yield."

Aonghas felt sick as his adrenaline high evaporated as soon as he acknowledged his defeat, "I yield."

Fergus moved away and mounted his horse before putting his sword away. Aonghas rose slowly and recovered his sword from the ground and then his horse from the twins before mounting as well. Nothing was said as Fergus began moving forward and they all fell into line with Aonghas bringing up the rear.

The ride in through Denerim's gates was not a quiet one. News of their arrival preceded them and many of the people of Denerim watched and cheered as their King returned to the city with Teryn Fergus Cousland and the Grey Warden Aonghas, the Hero of Ferelden, in tow. The buzz of the return lasted for a week before it was overpowered by the announcement of King Alistair's engagement to Lady Ryonah who was announced as a Knight of Highever and cousin to the Fergus and Aonghas Cousland.

* * *

One week later found King Alistair, Ryonah, Fergus, Aonghas, Ryley, and Zevran in conference with Arl Eamon. Fergus was the first to speak.

"Here's the problem in the political situation; as I see it. A majority of the Ferelden nobles support you as King and those who do not have not spoken out; however, those who were at the Landsmeet who heard Loghain infer that Aonghas would be the puppeteer to Alistair's reign have been spreading that knowledge. These nobles are in the minority and although they have not voiced their concerns as of yet there is a possibility of it in the future. Some of these same nobles may see this new development of putting a Cousland relative beside King Alistair on the throne as another attempt to control Ferelden." Aonghas scoffed quietly at Fergus' statement but didn't speak.

Alistair met Aonghas gaze for a moment before looking to Fergus again, "Fair enough. How do you suggest we proceed?"

"After you are married it would be best if Aonghas and I go our own way leaving you and Ryonah to rule unhindered by a Cousland. Aonghas also needs to make an official declaration about denouncing his claim to Cousland title and lands."

"I did that before I left the tower for home," Aonghas complained in a scornful voice.

"Yes to the tower. It needs to be to the landsmeet."

"I am not going to get up in front of those…"

"Stop yourself there, little brother. As the head of our household I make decisions for the family and you will obey me. You'll do your duty to King Alistair and Ferelden exactly how I tell you to do it and when I tell you to do it." Aonghas just stared at his brother in shock and he couldn't help but wonder if his brother realized how ridiculous he sounded contradicting himself. One minute he's saying Aonghas must give up all rights to title and land and then the next he's demanding familial respect from Aonghas. Before Aonghas could speak up Fergus had turned back to Alistair, "Once Aonghas has denounced his claim and moved off on his own the fear of him being your puppeteer should fade. That will just leave me to go back to Highever and only come to Denerim for the landsmeet."

"Yet it leaves me without you to talk things over with."

"Ryonah will have to be your new sounding board. She's actually much better at it than I am. As your wife she will be in a better position to do so."

The conversation of the others faded into the background as Aonghas wrapped his arms around Majestic and leaned his head against the war hound. When Aonghas came out of his daze he found he and Fergus alone remained and Fergus didn't give Aonghas a chance to speak before starting in, "We need to talk about a few things. You are not likely to like the direction my questions will take but I expect you to be truthful with me. I will not tolerate any evasions. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you, Fergus."

"Tell me why Duncan had to conscript you?"

"What? How do you even know about that? Did Alistair tell you?"

"Does it matter who told me? I'll make this easy for you though. Alistair has been through the records at the Grey Warden base here in Ferelden. Your joining information was already there. Alistair figures it must have been sent before the battle." Fergus brought out two sheets of paper and showed them briefly to Aonghas. "This is the information here. I want to hear your side of things before judging your actions. Tell me what happened that night after I left."

Aonghas shifted around uncomfortably in his chair trying to gather his thoughts and finally he opened his mouth and talked about that night. "Majestic was barking and woke me up. I was standing there trying to decide what to do when my chamber door burst open and one of the servants took an arrow to the heart. He died instantly and I quickly pulled on the first thing I could get my hands on while Majestic fought the men in the hall. Majestic and I killed the two men outside the door and two more in front of mother and father's chamber. Only mother was within and we found…Oren and Oriana…" Aonghas paused and unable to speak the words looked at his eldest brother.

"Slaughtered?" Fergus' tone was shaky but clear.

"Yes. We had to fight our way through to the throne room but Father had already left. Ser Gilmore stayed to defend the main gate while mother and I went to the larder. Father was lying on the floor of the larder bleeding severely and as we spoke to him the bleeding never ceased. We wanted to get him out of there but he… he told us he would not make it and that we needed to leave him. I couldn't do it. There was no way I was leaving him to die without defending him. I didn't know as much healing magic then as I do now. I often think I might have been able to save him if I knew then what I know now." Aonghas paused again unable to continue for the moment.

"Finish telling me what happened," compelled Fergus and Aonghas complied.

"Duncan came in then. Did you ever meet him?" Aonghas looked at his older brother as the Fergus shook his head in the negative. "Well he came in and said that the castle was surrounded and that we would have to move quickly to escape. We could hear that the front gate was down and then Father asked Duncan to help Mother and I escape. Duncan agreed but he asked..." Aonghas paused overcome with emotion.

"He asked Father to give him you in return? Tell me what happened."

"I told them it didn't make any sense. Duncan had come for Ser Gilmore not me, but then Duncan said that I had always been his first pick. I told them we didn't even know if you were alive. I told them it would be my duty to make Howe pay."

"What did Father say?"

"That the Cousland's always do their duty first. I didn't see it the way they did. I felt it was my duty to defend our father. Father didn't agree; he wanted mother and me away and safe."

"Then why did you have to be conscripted if Father made his wishes clear to you?"

"I refused to join. Duncan conscripted me against my will."

"But not against Father's will?"

"I could lie to you Fergus and say it was against Father's will but I'm sure that little piece of paper says differently."

"What of Mother? What did she say about you being conscripted?"

"She refused to leave, I said I would stay and help defend her and father but she insisted my place was with the grey wardens. She refused to leave father and when I tried to do the same I was rebuffed by them both."

"So unlike Alistair who was conscripted against the will of the Chantry, you were conscripted because you personally refused?"

"Yes."

"And how do you feel about being a grey warden now?"

"I don't have to answer that."

"Oh?"

"Fergus some things a person needs to keep to themselves. This is one of those things that I don't want to talk about with anybody."

"Fine; however, the fact that you balked at requests made by our parents angers me. I do understand how you were feeling at the time, but there is no excuse for it. Not to mention grey warden records show your disgraceful actions."

"Oh, please, Fergus, the only thing disgraceful about my conscription is how I was forced to join against my own will. There is nothing disgraceful in my refusal."

Fergus slammed a fist down on the arm of his chair, "Honor, Duty, and Obedience; you were taught all three as a young child and we emphasized it when you returned from the tower. Don't sit there and tell me that your actions did not disgrace our family."

"You will believe how you believe no matter what I do or say. What do you hope to gain by having this conversation?"

"I wanted to determine if this account Duncan sent was accurate."

"And what does it say?"

Fergus read from the sheet, "Aonghas Cousland, also known as, Aonghas Amell, is hereby given official membership to the Grey Wardens of Ferelden through right of successful joining. The aforementioned Grey Warden was conscripted despite his own objections into the wardens with the full consent of both parents; Bryce and Eleanor Cousland. Due to the fact that Aonghas Cousland/Amell is a mage of the Circle of Magi, assigned to the Couslands, this conscription is also backed by the obtainment of the full consent of First Enchanter Irving of the Circle of Magi. Please see attached consent letter."

"Wait. What? When did he obtain permission from the circle?"

"According to the date on the letter it was on your way to Ostagar. Did you stop at the tower?"

"We stopped at the Inn near it. He must have gone to the tower that night while I slept. I knew he was keeping things from me."

"He was a very clever man; according to Alistair. He was very wise to obtain both consents."

"Because I was only seventeen and because I was a mage?"

"Exactly."

"Yes he trapped me thoroughly. How clever of him," Aonghas' sarcastic tone wasn't lost on his older brother.

"He could have left you to die at Highever."

"He could have taken me with him without conscripting me."

"Let us say for argument sake that he didn't make you a grey warden, but took you to Ostagar. You would have died there. You wouldn't have been on the tower with Alistair. What do you think would have happened?"

"I am so tired of having this conversation with people. Everything would have been fine without me."

"And when you stop believing that you weren't vital to the survival of Ferelden; people will stop bring it up." Aonghas stood and stormed out of the room with Majestic following. Fergus wasn't done talking but he didn't try to stop his brother from leaving. "We can finish our discussion later," Fergus called after his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

**Aonghas Cousland: the Hero of Ferelden**

_**Chapter Five: Standing Alone**_

Even though he knew it was childish Aonghas couldn't help but cast covert dirty looks at Bann Ceorlic and others during the landsmeet. Aonghas had already made his announcement to the assembled landsmeet and the members had moved on to other things. Nobody had said much beyond acknowledging his announcement. Aonghas thought he had been careful when casting his nasty looks around, but as he prepared to leave the landsmeet Alistair pulled him aside and spoke in a quietly annoyed voice. "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try to intimidate the gathered nobles with your fierce glares. Your position as a Grey Warden makes people uncomfortable enough without having you appearing to mark certain individuals as your opponents." Alistair walked off without giving Aonghas the opportunity to respond. Aonghas shrugged and slipped away from everyone else to seek his own entertainment.

Aonghas entered the stables and after finding a decent brush he slipped into the stall with his and Alistair's horses that had seen them through the Blight. The horses were not disturbed by his invasion of their stall but they seemed restless as if they could sense his turmoil. Aonghas had missed the horse that he had been gifted by the Arl of Redcliff and although part of him longed to take the horse with him on this trip he knew the horse would be recognized. It wasn't as flashy as the war horse that he had recently ridden into Denerim on, but its bloodline was such to stand out. Hardy and strong the two matched horses always stood proud. Sighing deeply Aonghas began to groom his horse and the motions were so familiar that he allowed his mind to drift into memory.

"_Where did you get the horses?"_

_Arl Eamon seemed to smirk as he watched Alistair stare at his horse with trepidation before turning to answered Aonghas. "They were brought back by some travelers. Their owners Ser Drake and Ser Corey were lost in the quest you succeeded in." Aonghas paused in his inspection of the horses and turned to face the Arl of Redcliff. Eamon met Aonghas' gaze and smiled warmly and he seemed to know what Aonghas was going to ask. "They did not have wives or children. I knew both Knights, they were very close to each other; the best of friends. They would consider you and Alistair being gifted their mounts an honor."_

_Aonghas nodded and moved to swing into the saddle of one horse. The horse stood steady unmoving as he mounted and only danced a bit once he was seated. Dismounting Aonghas pushed past Alistair and moved to mount the second horse. The horse danced to the side as he planted his foot in the stirrup and if Aonghas had not learned to ride early on some of the most spirited horses he would not have been able to gain the saddle. The horse continued to dance about once Aonghas was seated but calmed after a few minutes. "I'll take this one. Any objections, Alistair?" Alistair shook his head no, almost looking relieved. "Excellent. You should mount your horse or you'll be left behind." Aonghas laughed and set off at a gallop. "Thank you for the horses, My Lord!"_

"Aonghas?" Aonghas snapped back to the present at the sound of his name uttered in the familiar questioning tone of his fellow Grey Warden. Aonghas looked to the side to find Alistair brushing his own horse. "You seemed so far away that I almost didn't want to disturb you. Are you planning to go for a ride?"

Aonghas froze for a moment not sure what to say, "I just felt like brushing him, it calms my mind somewhat." Aonghas resumed brushing his horse while looking at Alistair out of the corners of his eyes.

Alistair seemed skeptical for a moment but then he seemed to shake the doubt from his mind. "I come here every day myself. I miss doing this side by side every night at camp, it was and still is comforting; as you said, it calms the mind." The two were silent for a long while before Alistair spoke again. "I wish you would stop sneaking off and instead come to me and tell me when you are leaving. I know you well enough now to tell when you are thinking of leaving. Do you think I would try to stop you or that I would betray your trust?" Aonghas stopped brushing his horse and stormed out of the stall leaving Alistair alone with the two horses.

Alistair let out a huge sigh and then started as Aonghas' voice came out of the shadows of the stable. "I'm leaving tonight. I'm not telling my brother and I'm not taking Zevran. I will be disguised and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try to follow me. It would be nice if you could convince Fergus to leave me be as well." Alistair didn't answer because the last words were spoken right before the stable's side door closed on the last word.

Alistair looked up as Fergus walked boldly into his study and the smile he gave the older man faded as he saw the look of worry on the man's face. "What has happened?"

"I'm sorry to bother you with this, King Alistair, but do you sense Aonghas at all?" Alistair shook his head in the negative. "We can't find him anywhere. We cannot get in Aonghas' room but we can hear Majestic whining and pawing at the door. Zevran is trying to get into his room in a less conventional way while others continue to try to break down the door. It appears that he has enchanted the door with some type of spell as well as locked it. Would you be willing to travel the city to see if you can sense him?" Alistair stood without a word and left the room to do as asked.

Alistair had no luck sensing Aonghas and Zevran had failed getting into Aonghas' room by the window. The two of them spoke to each other tensely, but they both fell silent when Fergus joined them. "The mage says the spell on the door should fail in two days. You said you saw food and water set out for Majestic, Zevran?"

"Yes. What is the lad thinking?"

"I'm not going to even try to guess at what my brother is thinking. In two days you and Ryley can take Majestic and find his trail. I'm going back to Highever tomorrow. King Alistair and Ryonah have much to do here and they don't need us getting in the way."

* * *

Aonghas spent two days laying false trails before heading towards Ostagar. Aonghas had only been to Ostagar twice but something about the place kept his attention and he always felt as if he was missing something crucial about the place. He changed his disguises regularly and he approached Lothering as a middle aged elf. He gazed down from the high road onto the windmill on the outskirts of the village. The place seemed desolate so he skirted the water and took the foothills around the village before changing his disguise to head to Ostagar. Aonghas heard a shuffling at the moment he entered the forested trail to Ostagar and he turned in time to take Majestic's attack head on. The hound appeared both happy and annoyed as he pinned an unresisting Aonghas while cleaning his humans face and hair. "I keep finding you in the most interesting situations, lad." Aonghas peered around Majestic's head to glare at Zevran as he and Ryley stood grinning at his predicament.

"Ugh off me, Majestic!" The hound obeyed and then sat to scratch an ear with his back paw while Aonghas sat up. "Well don't help a person up or anything." Still laughing Zevran moved forward and reached a hand down to help pull Aonghas up. Aonghas laughed and grabbed Zevran's hand and yanked him to the ground beside him where he rolled over the shocked elf and stood on his own. Zevran was only stunned for a moment before he burst out laughing once more as Majestic leaned over and gave him a lick from chin to scalp. Aonghas pushed back his red hair and watched from a safe distance as Ryley pulled Zevran to his feet and offered his companion his kerchief to wipe away the hound drool. "I wasn't expecting you to find me so soon. It isn't necessary that you be here."

"Aonghas I refuse to talk to you when you look like a red-headed wench."

Aonghas raised a hand to his hair and touched it before asking in a feminine voice, "Am I not pretty enough to warrant your attention?" Aonghas looked down at the female body he had disguised himself in before continuing, "Maybe I should augment myself a bit more?" Aonghas laughed as his cousin turned red in embarrassment or anger he wasn't sure which but he had succeeded in getting a reaction.

"Remove your disguise." Aonghas laughed in satisfaction as he complied with his cousin's request. "Look I know you want to strike out on your own, but it isn't wise to do so. You are stuck with us and your paltry attempts at misleading us with a false trail failed miserably; however, the changing of your disguise regularly made asking people if they had seen you impossible. If you want us to remain anonymous you'll need to disguise us as well."

"Perhaps a trio of well endowed red-headed women?"

Zevran laughed even as Ryley growled, "No not women. What is wrong with you?" Aonghas laughed and turned from the older men to head down the path again. Ryley spoke again after following his younger cousin for a short while, "This is the way to Ostagar, why are we headed here?"

"I have a few things I need to refresh my memory on… there is something about the place that draws me back to it." Aonghas glanced back, "I hope you have packed well; if not you could head back and meet me later." The two men shook their heads and Ryley gestured grandly as if to say, 'Lead on.'

* * *

Aonghas didn't bother with disguises until they were closer to Ostagar and even then he was careful to only make subtle changes. It seemed unwise to him to cast too grand a glamour on himself and the others. They were perhaps a day outside of Ostagar when Aonghas began to feel a charge of magic in the air and the closer they got to Ostagar the stronger the charge seemed to be. Half a day later Aonghas began to feel the charge of magic becoming stronger, causing his head to begin to ache at the pressure; and at the same time Majestic began a low growling deep with in his chest. The four travelers made a hasty campsite and huddled together around a small fire trying to prepare for what was to come. Ryley was the first to express his concerns, "This oppressive feeling seems to get worse the closer we get to Ostagar. I think it would be best if we turn around and go to the Circle Tower to get some help."

Aonghas scoffed, "The Circle Tower can barely save itself. They have taken so many losses and they cannot afford anymore. I can handle this on my own."

"I hope you are right." Ryley shifted and met Zevran's gaze before looking back to Aonghas. "Do you know what is causing it? I mean, can you sense what it is?"

Aonghas shook his head in the negative, "Nothing good is all I know. It feels different than when I was here before. I wish Al… we had some more fighters with us."

"Then we should go find some warriors and then come back." Ryley and Zevran looked at each other again after Ryley made his suggestion and they both seemed to come to a mutual decision.

"No I cannot leave things like this. What if some unwary traveler happens upon Ostagar? I would never forgive myself if I left and somebody came to harm in my absence."

"Lad, do you truly believe you can handle this on your own? Or do you believe you need more manpower? Ryley and I could ride to Lothering and send for reinforcements. You could encamp here while we wait to make sure nobody comes past this point." Aonghas could tell Zevran was using his most persuasive tone but he could detect an undercurrent of concern for their safety.

Ryley nodded in agreement his tone just as persuasive as Zevran's, "That sounds like a good plan. Obviously Ostagar has been like this for a while so it will hold for now while we make ourselves better prepared."

Aonghas stared at Ryley and then at Zevran before gazing down at Majestic. Majestic barked once in agreement and with a sigh Aonghas nodded before speaking, "I think reinforcements are necessary. Majestic and I will wait here until you return."

Zevran and Ryley stood and unpacked and then repacked some of their things but before they left Ryley went to Aonghas and squatted before him so they could look into each others eyes. "Do not go into Ostagar without us. If anything happens to you the wrath of King Alistair and Lord Fergus will rain down upon Zevran and me. I trust that you will stay here and not go into Ostagar. Do not break my trust, Aonghas." Aonghas nodded and looked away. Ryley grabbed Aonghas' chin and forced him to look at him again. "I want your word."

Aonghas closed his eyes and spoke, "I give you my word that I will not enter Ostagar without you."

"Good. We'll be running so we are leaving most of our things here with you. Take care of him Majestic." Zevran waved as he and Ryley took off at a run. "Keep your promise, Aonghas," called Ryley as they rounded the curve that took them out of sight.

* * *

Aonghas sat with Majestic day after day at the campsite to ensure that no person would enter Ostagar, but no one traveled the road and Aonghas found himself drifting into contemplation. His mind slipped into the past.

_Aonghas and Alistair faced off after another argument about where Aonghas belonged in a battle. "Look, I love you and I love being with you, but I will not keep my opinions to myself just because you happen to share my bedroll."_

"_I'm not asking you to not share your opinions! I'm just tired of you contradicting me in front of all of the others. If you want to take over leadership just tell me and I'll go find something else to do."_

"_Seriously, Aonghas, what kind of ultimatum is that? I have just as much stake in what we do as you do. You do not give the others these disparaging looks whenever they voice an opinion or disagree with you publicly. I am not asking you to step aside. I am just asking you to give me the courtesy you give the others."_

"_Yes well nobody else shares your bedroll do they," questioned Aonghas in his snide tone? His tone became nastier the more he spoke but even though he could hear the tone he seemed unable to stop it from continuing to get worse. "Maybe we need to make some changes. It seems to me like you are trying to use our relationship to make yourself feel superior. You are always trying to force me to bend to your will! If you had your way I would be the one stuck in camp while everybody else fights!"_

"_Why you! Look here, Aonghas, I am not going to tolerate this kind of behavior from you. At first I thought it was my imagination that you were using our relationship as a power play, but now it's clear that you are." Alistair's tone became harsher with each word and his face reddened in his anger._

"_I would never do that," Aonghas exclaimed as his heart began to beat heavily in his chest and he began to feel panic as he saw Alistair begin trembling in rage at his denial._

"_Do not add your lies to this conversation. Stand up and admit to the games you are playing with me." Aonghas shook his head and began backing away from Alistair. How had it come to this? How had Alistair finally figured out what Aonghas had been trying to do? Before Aonghas could speak Alistair continued. "This is the way I see it. I'm older, I'm bigger, I'm stronger, and my rank is higher. You have no more power than I choose to give you. Deal with the fact that you have lost this power struggle and stop making our personal relationship suffer for it!"_

_Aonghas stood shaking his head in disbelief. Could he admit defeat and submit to another's will? His bid to control the situation through an intimate relationship with his fellow grey warden had worked for a time, but somewhere he had lost the battle for dominance. Even as his mind realized it his fighting spirit reared its head and he flung himself at Alistair, his hand coming around without warning and slapping the larger and older man sharply across the mouth. As Alistair stood in shock Aonghas took the opportunity to leave the room but not before sending a barb over his shoulder, "I'll never share your bedroll again and don't you dare come closer than two feet of me ever again!"_

Aonghas came back to the present as the memories of later that day came to him. Alistair had saved Aonghas from bleeding to death by invading the space he had been ordered not to enter. This later part of the memory was hazy as Aonghas had passed in and out of consciousness for the rest of the day. The result that stood out most was that he didn't object when two nights later Alistair climbed into the tent with him and pulled them tightly together to share one of their deeply passionate kisses. As Aonghas sat he began to understand that it was those events that first caused him to lose what little sway he had over Alistair. Alistair's power increased from that day forth so that when the day came that he was made King he was no longer the same fragile boy who had been hurt by the events of his life, but instead he was a man who had no equal in power and strength. This was the man who Aonghas knew had stolen his heart even as he lamented the loss of the more easily swayed Alistair who had fallen in love with him.

Aonghas hugged Majestic tightly as the thoughts of love and loss consumed him and although he had had no intention of breaking his promise to his cousin he found himself standing and moving towards Ostagar. He could hear Majestic barking urgently trying to waken him but he could feel that he had become enthralled by the magic and found he was unable to stop his body from moving towards the place where many had died.

* * *

Step by step Aonghas was drawn closer to the source of the disturbance in Ostagar and he struggled to move as he sensed darkspawn approaching, but he was unable to break free of the force that held him enthralled. As he crossed into Ostagar the same way he and Duncan had entered he found the shadowy figure of King Cailan and the two solders who had greeted them. The shadowy form of Duncan appeared beside him and grasped arms with King Cailan. Aonghas could feel the force of magic pushing him into the same role he had held back then. No words left his lips but the shadowy figures reacted as if he had spoken. As the King left him and Duncan alone he felt himself moving in the same steps he had walked then. Duncan's shadowy figure faded away and Aonghas felt himself slowly dragged away from the familiar past into a new path.

Aonghas could hear Majestic barking and whimpering at his side as he arrived at the battlefield where so many had fallen. Suddenly the field filled with the shadowy figures of the soldiers, hounds, and wardens that had graced it back then. Aonghas' gaze was drawn to the stage where he could see King Cailan and Duncan approaching the forefront. Cailan ordered the archers and then the hounds to attack and then suddenly the shadowy figures let loose battle cries and surged past Aonghas to battle the darkspawn hoard. Aonghas felt himself suddenly released from that which enthralled him, but still the battle raged around him. Aonghas could see that the soldiers were doing well in the beginning and then as they began to falter against the darkspawn hoard he saw the signal go up for him and Alistair. Aonghas shivered and stared up at the tower as the battle surged around him. It was a good while before the fire atop the tower blazed in the night sky, but as Aonghas turned to look he could see that the king's army was getting desperate and that they needed Loghain's troops immediately.

Aonghas waited with baited breath for Loghain's troops even though he knew they would never come. The hoard slowly overwhelmed the king's troops as the field behind the darkspawn remained empty. Not wanting to witness the massacre Aonghas began to walk away from the fighting. The force that had gripped him before returned and forced him to turn and witness the death of King Cailan. Aonghas felt triumph at Duncan's revenge against the Ogre that had killed the king. The force continued to make him watch Duncan's anguished reaction to Cailan's death. Then as Duncan looked up and saw the beacon lit he knew Loghain had quit the field and he watched patiently as the darkspawn overwhelmed him. Suddenly Aonghas found himself released and he fell to his knees as the shadowy figures disappeared from the field. As Aonghas knelt trembling in reaction he heard a howl of pain in the distance from Majestic and Aonghas lurched to his feet and began to run further into the field.

By the time Aonghas made it within view of his hound he found a group of about twenty darkspawn surrounding Majestic. His hound was down on his side and a gaping wound in his belly exposed his innards. Aonghas roared out the words to a stun spell as he pulled on his shield and drew his sword. He cast a spell of chain lightning as the darkspawn stood stunned and then hurled himself shield first, in a perfect imitation of Alistair the defender, at the darkspawn closest to him. Aonghas fought wildly in his rage unaware of the wounds the darkspawn inflicted upon him. He had seriously wounded about four darkspawn when a brief glance at Majestic showed the hound had passed on. Aonghas felt his rage begin to heat up and sizzle inside him and he screamed in grief and then agony as relentless waves of lightning shot from within him in all directions knocking back and killing all the darkspawn.

Aonghas fell upon Majestic to rest his face against the hound's jowl trying to sense the hound but the hound's essence had already departed. Aonghas shouted in anguish and began to cast a healing on his hound but the action caused a burning agony to go off in his head and he collapsed atop Majestic as he fought the darkness that tried to take him. Suddenly he felt hands on him pulling him away from Majestic and Aonghas, unable to see, began to struggle. "Easy, lad, it is just Ryley and I."

Aonghas lashed out at them both with his fists, "You bastards where were you," he screamed as he blindly threw punches in all directions? He was satisfied to feel a few blows land and then he felt Ryley's heavier hands on his shoulders and his head snapped back at the harsh shake his cousin gave him. Aonghas stilled and when he felt himself released he spoke, "I can't see," and then raised his hands to his eyes, but somebody grabbed them preventing him.

"Easy, Aonghas, it looks like your eyes are alright but your eyelids are swollen and an angry red."

Aonghas felt himself yanked into the past.

_Aonghas stared at Alistair sleeping in the chair beside his bed and then moaned as he tried to move setting off painful throbbing in his scull. Alistair was instantly awake hovering over Aonghas. Aonghas wondered why Alistair looked different until he realized he was only seeing him out of one eye. Aonghas raised a hand to touch his left eye but found his hand stopped by a firm grip from Alistair. "Don't touch it, Aonghas. Your eye and surrounding face is swollen beyond recognition, but before the swelling got so bad the healer said your eye was fine."_

_Aonghas could feel himself staring at Alistair in confusion "What happened? How did I get here?"_

"_You've been unconscious for three days, Aonghas." Aonghas watched as Alistair stood and began pacing. "You know just how to push me over the edge. I don't know why I keep falling for your tricks, but this is my fault. It's my fault that I lost my temper and hit you like I did."_

_Aonghas interrupted Alistair hoping to stall whatever Alistair was getting worked up over, "I think I remember us arguing and me going after you but I don't remember getting hit. It is not the first time we've come to blows Alistair. I'm sure everything will be fine."_

_Alistair had stopped and was staring at Aonghas like he had turned into a darkspawn or had grown a second head and the horror in Alistair's voice sent fear through Aonghas' gut. "Everything will not be alright. I have scarred you for life. I am the King of Ferelden, if I can not govern my own temper what good am I to my people?"_

_Aonghas fought the urge to touch his face and he could hear his own voice tremble, "Scarred me for life? Alistair how bad is it?"_

_Alistair's face had paled considerably and he settled on the bed next to Aonghas and looked down at him in heavy remorse. "You will have a scar. Before the swelling your skin along your cheekbone heading up in a curve toward your temple was split open and the swelling is making things worse. If I had only taken off my gauntlets after sword practice it wouldn't be this bad. I am so utterly stupid."_

_Aonghas fought his own emotions in the face of Alistair's anguish, "I've plenty of scars from battle. What's one more?" Alistair again gave him that look that made him feel as if he had sprouted a second head. "I'm not feeling very well. Is my brother around?"_

_Alistair jumped up quickly and rushed out the door, "Of course I'll get him right away!"_

Aonghas could hear harsh gut wrenching sobbing breath as he came back to the present and he could feel his back resting against the chest of a body as large as his own. He knew it to be his cousin when large arms wrapped around him holding him more firmly and Ryley spoke. "Please, Aonghas, try to calm down. You need to slow down your breathing. Zev, please get some blankets to cover him." Aonghas gazed around in a daze trying to see his surroundings but was unable to. He knew there was something he should be looking for. Majestic! "Slow down your breathing, Aonghas." Aonghas began struggling against his cousin's grip but the older man just held him tighter and spoke softly, "I'm sorry, baby cousin, he's beyond help." Aonghas heard a wailing as he began struggling more and then he felt his labored breath causing his chest to hurt and his lungs to burn and it was then that he realized the pitiful noises he had heard were his own. He felt his anguish intensify and then he felt himself swirl into a deeper darkness.

* * *

Ryley sighed in relief when Aonghas collapsed back against him in a faint. "It's about time. Quickly get a tent up around us. Zev, could you please get my herb bag."

Zevran finished tucking blankets around the two men and was about to stand when he saw a gush of blood stream down from the healed cut below Aonghas left eye. Zevran began to frantically pull away the blankets while muttering in alarm, "no… no… no not this again." As he pulled the bottom blanket away he could see it was soaked in blood and Zevran exclaimed in despair, "Not here, please, Aonghas, not here. There is no healer for days."

Zevran looked up at Ryley and they both froze for a moment and then Ryley began shouting. "Forget the tent men. Make a stretcher and we will head to Lothering. Ryley moved backwards and laid out Aonghas and stared down at his cousin. "We have to wrap as many wounds as possible. Get his robes from his pack and cut them up." Zevran moved quickly and as he slashed the clothing to shreds he looked towards Aonghas and Ryley to see Ryley fiercely cutting away the leather armor Aonghas wore while tears streamed down his face. "Baby cousin, you have to stop doing this to us."

Zevran brought the cloth from Aonghas' robes over and the two men began working quickly to bind Aonghas' bleeding wounds tightly, "I thought we were done with this."

Ryley swore softly under his breath before speaking as well. "I never even considered the impact of the loss of Majestic on him. I'm not sure he will recover so easy from this loss. That is if we can manage to keep him alive until help can come. Do we contact Alistair or Fergus?"

"We have to contact Fergus, I have promised him this. We may need Alistair to bring Aonghas back." Zevran could feel himself trembling in reaction as they finished binding the last of the wounds. Ryley grabbed him then and pulled him roughly into a tight embrace. Zevran slipped his arms around Ryley and held them tight together against the trembling that racked both their bodies. "We need to find out how to prevent this from happening."

"One wish from him to die and his body and mind seem to want to make it so," Ryley whispered in frustration against Zevran's hair. "How do we fight this?"

A clearing of a throat started them both, "My Lord, the stretcher is complete and the men are ready to leave.

* * *

King Alistair and Lady Ryonah sat playing a game of chess in between court appearances when Alistair suddenly felt as if something was extremely wrong. Alistair sprang to his feet and immediately began pacing. He felt agitated, afraid, and desperate. His pacing was brought up short when he noticed Ryonah sat quietly with her face drained of color. Alistair rushed to her and dropped on a knee beside her chair and gripped her hands. "You sense something to? Tell me what you sense."

Ryonah shook her head from side to side trying to separate herself from the sensations she was receiving from Ryley. "I don't know exactly. I only pick up feelings from Ryley but something devastating has happened. What did the messenger tell us? That they were going into Ostagar? Ryley isn't injured which means it has to be somebody else he cares about."

Alistair knew then why the feeling felt familiar. It was the same feeling and sensations he had felt when Aonghas was injured and in the fade the last two times. Could he tell the woman he was to marry in a few short months that he still held a connection to Aonghas? How could he hurt her like that? Alistair had done everything in his power to make sure she knew he considered her before all others. How could he possibly say the unthinkable to her? He could just picture the hurt on her face as he uttered the words, '_I'm still in love with your baby cousin; let me go to him and save his life and then I will come back to you.'_

Ryonah settled the problem for him with her next words, "We will leave for Ostagar immediately. There is no time to waste." Ryonah rushed to the door and flung it open and spoke sharply, "Prepare the swiftest two horses for the king and I."

An hour later found Alistair and Ryonah nearly flying out of Denerim with a company of soldiers streaming out behind them on horses. Arl Eamon hadn't asked many questions as the frantic couple threw themselves and their packs together for the trip. He had gladly sent a messenger to Fergus who they knew was already on his way to Denerim. A shout from the road coming in from the north caused the couple to pause in surprise. Fergus cantered up on his horse. "I'm coming," he shouted and then gestured to them both as he took off down the south road. Alistair and Ryonah set heels to their horses and the three drove their horses relentlessly in an effort to arrive in Lothering in six days.

* * *

"Alistair." Ryley and Zevran both jerked awake and stared down at the younger man lying between them. Aonghas looked like death warmed over and was obviously still unconscious but his arm stretched out across Zevran towards the front of the Inn. Zevran slid out from under the outstretched arm as Ryley rose from the bed. The two dressed quickly and Ryley slipped out the door into the Lothering Inn common room. He could hear horses' hooves thundering pass the side of the Inn and then he heard the voices shouting. Ryley was just moving to the door when it burst open admitting King Alistair and Teyrn Fergus Cousland. Ryonah followed them at a much calmer pace. Ryley nearly collapsed in relief, even as he wondered how they had managed to get here so quickly.

Zevran moved aside as Ryley led the way into the room. The three weary travelers looked exhausted but they all went right to Aonghas and crowded around. Alistair looked stricken as he sat on the edge of the bed and gently brushed aside Aonghas' hair so they could all see the lad more easily. Fergus spoke then, "Tell us what happened."

Ryley looked at Zevran for a moment and after receiving a brief nod he turned to speak to the others, "Majestic died defending Aonghas from darkspawn. How things lead to that we are unsure because we were not there when it happened. When we arrived it was to see a massive charge of multiple lightning bolts that instantly killed the darkspawn surrounding Aonghas. The charge blinded Aonghas and it wasn't long before he passed out from the stress of it all. He was fine at first and then just as we were getting him settled all his wounds reappeared. That's all I know and that was six days ago, we've only been here for a day and a half. He knows Alistair is here."

Alistair nodded and spoke firmly, "Aonghas Cousland, how dare you lay here dying when there are people who need you! You better heal yourself this instant or I will never speak to you again!"

"What are you doing?" Fergus looked a bit shocked as did the others, but before Alistair could defend himself Aonghas began to glow. Everyone watched in awe until the glow grew too bright, but when it faded they could see the visible wounds had all healed. Nobody moved for a time and then Fergus spoke, "I have never seen anything like that. What did the Circle of Magi do to my little brother?"

"They didn't teach him this. This is just who he is. Who else could have carried us to victory against the archdemon? And now we need him to defeat the darkspawn that roam the country as well. His responsibilities in this world are not over. I will not tolerate him shirking his duty." Alistair was panting and trembling slightly in rage and reaction.

"Easy, Alistair, we support your feelings and determination in this." Alistair met Fergus gaze and then looked to Ryley and Zevran who both nodded in encouragement and last he turned to Ryonah and she smiled at him and gave him an encouraging nod.

"How do you think we should handle this, my love?" Alistair stared at her in relief that she was still calling him her love. It was a new expression from her, one that was barely a month old and he had feared to never hear it again.

"First off I want to know if you all realize how easily Aonghas has manipulated us. Whether he does it intentionally or not I do not know. I do know; however, if we don't put a stop to it now. He will continue to think he can manipulate the world to suit himself."

"Example," questioned Ryonah?

"Of how he manipulates us," Alistair asked? Ryonah nodded and Alistair took a deep breath before beginning. "He made his most recent departure from Denerim in such an elaborate manner that to me it was obvious he meant to get all of our attention. He even manipulated me into not telling everyone that I knew he was gone. Leaving Majestic behind made it obvious that he expected to be followed. If his plan was intentional or not; here we all are hovering over him and giving him our full attention. We all put everything aside to be here for him."

"So you are saying we are spoiling him by jumping to his aid? I was just thinking to myself that he has once more managed to have us revolve around him."

"Exactly, Fergus, and this is the last time I come running to save his life. I have duties of my own to fulfill and Aonghas is just going to have to learn that he needs to take care of himself."

"So you will just leave it to Zevran and me to try to keep him alive," questioned Ryley his voice shaking.

Alistair dropped his eyes from Ryley's and tried to think of the best way to answer the man's anger, but once more his soon to be wife stepped up. "You can choose to go off on your own as well. It would probably be best if we all left him to himself. I agree with Alistair and Fergus, we all spoil him. How is he supposed to grow up and be his own man if we continue to baby him?"

"How can you say that? He doesn't even have Majestic anymore!" Ryley sounded furious.

Fergus interrupted any further argument. "Enough; let us retire somewhere else to discuss this so we don't wake up Aonghas."

* * *

Aonghas cracked his eyes open as he heard the door close and he carefully looked around to make sure everyone had left before sitting up. He pushed his recently grown long hair out of his face and scooted to the edge of the bed and placed his bare feet on the wooden floor. He impatiently tossed his hair back as it blocked his view of the room and then he reached for his belt knife that had been left on the bedside table. Carefully he began cutting away bandages, he moved as quickly as he could and it wasn't long before he was able to stand unencumbered. He staggered to the side board that held a pitcher of water and a basin. He shakily filled the basin with water and then leaned over it; staring down until the water settled enough for him to see his reflection. "I guess I'll have to settle for just cutting the hair that is in my eyes this time. Obviously there is nobody willing to cut it for me." Aonghas gathered the hair at his forehead and lifted his knife to it and cut himself some bangs that just barely brushed over his eyes. With a huge sigh Aonghas set the length of hair aside and grabbed a cloth to clean the dried blood from his body. "I wonder how much time I cut off of my life this time by healing myself," he muttered out loud as he washed away the evidence of his recent brush with death. He figured that it was about a years worth of hair growth he had sprouted which was more than any of the other times. "They are right; I've got to stop doing this to myself. Damn them!"

A much cleaner Aonghas found a comb and combed through his hair quickly while looking for clothes. He was angry to find none of his own because it meant he would have to take Ryley's clothes. He sorted through Ryley's pack finding the most worn clothes he could find and then quickly dressed before gathering the rest of his gear and packing. "You all want me to do things on my own? I can do that." He slung his pack over his shoulder and opened the window in the room and after looking around outside; he dropped his gear out and then slipped out the window himself. "Lucky for me we got the room on the first floor."

Aonghas froze as he saw his hound decked out on a pyre and Aonghas whispered a word and a magical flame struck the pyre lighting it. "Goodbye, my soul mate and brother," Aonghas whispered before moving quickly to the horses as their alarmed guards went to see how the pyre had started burning. He looked over the horses quickly and found his brother's horse. He was relieved to see the horse had not been unsaddled or maybe had been re-saddled he wasn't sure which but he loaded his pack on the animal and swung onto it just as the tavern door burst open and Fergus and the others poured out. Aonghas caused the horse to rear to get their attention and with a wave he shouted, "I'll be sure to write," before forcing the horse into a tight spin and thundering off over the bridge.

He could hear the shouts go up but then he heard his brother's voice over the others. "Let him go; he is doing what we want!" Aonghas nearly turned back to give them all a piece of his mind when Fergus called out loudly to him. "Know that we all love you and wish you the best! And you better write!" Aonghas kicked his heels to his horse's sides and fled before he could change his mind about leaving them all behind.


End file.
